“Okay good. Because I know it’s weird that you had sex with him and now I’m dating him, but I don’t want things to be weird because it’s not your fault. I mean, you didn’t know me and you didn’t know that he and I were going to end up together. So it’s okay. Just so you know.” She looked scared after she finished, as if she was worried about how I would respond. I sighed and tossed the empty bag of tortilla chips in the trash.
“It’s fine, Lot. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me. I shouldn’t have told you like that. I should have told you a long time ago, but I was afraid you’d hate me.”
Trish and Audrey looked like they felt uncomfortable, but Lottie and I needed to do this now to clear the air. She took everything so personally and I wanted her to know that I was fine with her and Zan, as long as she was happy. My mistakes with the Parker brothers weren’t hers.
“I don’t hate you. I just didn’t want things to be weird,” she said.
“Come on ladies, hug it out,” Trish said, getting up and pulling Lottie across the room. “Come on, roommate hug.”
Lottie and I hugged, which ended up with us giggling, rocking back and forth, trying to tip the other one over.
“See? Works every time,” Trish said, patting both of us on the back as if we’d just won a football game.
“Okay, okay,” I said, rolling my eyes. “It’s late and I’m tired.”
“We’ll get going,” Audrey said, gathering her movies and her coat. “See you tomorrow? Library date?”
“You’re on,” I said, giving her a salute. Trish waved goodbye as well, and then it was just Lottie and me.
“Have you heard from Zack?” Lottie said as she cleared up the rest of the refuse from our little Katie pity party. I could tell she’d been waiting until we were alone.
“Yeah, he’s left me a million messages. I’m just waiting for the “sorry I fucked up” gifts to start coming in.” I’d already put the necklace he’d given me from the last screw-up in my jewelry box.
“Maybe you should change your cell number or something.”
If only it were that easy. Something that simple wouldn’t stop Zack from finding another way to contact me. I’d take a million voicemails over him doing something really crazy, like showing up in one of my classes, or waiting at my car, or something else like that. Phone calls were harmless.
I gave her a look.
“Sorry. You probably don’t want to talk about him.”
I stacked the pillows back on my bed for something to do. “Not really.”
She handed me two more pillows. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s okay.” I should just record myself saying that and ‘I’m fine’ so I could play them back whenever I needed to.
“You sure?” I grabbed the last pillow and placed it in the middle of the rest.
“Yup.”
She gave me another look and went to brush her teeth. I lay back on my bed and tried to forget that only a few hours ago, I’d been fucking Stryker in it. Tried, but did not succeed.
Stryker
“How is Lottie going to keep this a secret from Will? They have that creepy twin thing,” I said as I worked on replacing the clutch Zan had burned out while learning how to drive a standard on Will’s truck. The weather was getting colder and soon it would be nearly impossible to work outside without the potential risk of losing a few fingers or my nose to frostbite.
“I don’t know, honestly. I’m shocked she’s managed to keep us a secret this long.”
I wiped my hands on a rag and slid out from under the truck. Zan sat on a folding chair and worked on his banjo picking. The rest of the driveway was filled with some of my other car projects. It was a decent way to make a few bucks and my landlord didn’t seem to mind that I took up three times the spaces as long as I kept his car tuned up and running like a champ. I also bartended here and there when I got really strapped for cash, but I’d been doing better at saving money. Being dirt poor also meant you got great financial aid. I still had no clue what I’d do when I graduated, but I had plenty of options, thanks to being, what I told Zan, “a fucking genius”.