Wet (A Real Man #25) - Jenika Snow Page 0,3

feelings for Gio after all these years had grown from curious feelings, to a hard crush, to intense lust, to what they were today. Love.

At nineteen years old, I was a virgin, never knowing what being with someone was like, never going on a proper date or being kissed or anything like that. It was embarrassing when I really thought about it, but at the end of the day, the only person I wanted to share those with was Gio, whether he’d ever find that out or not.

It wasn’t some infatuation, some teenage desire for something and someone I really couldn’t have. It may not be a reality in the grand scheme of things, but for me, it was as real as it got.

And to be honest, I didn’t care about repercussions or consequences because of my feelings for him. I didn’t care if my family may not approve, although I knew my parents’ hearts and knew they wanted me happy above all else. But even knowing that, feeling that as deeply as I’d ever felt anything before, I’d never once gone up to Gio and told him.

I’d seen the way he looked at me, desire clear on his face. But desire and true feelings weren’t the same thing. Lust and love were very different. Did he desire me because he thought he couldn’t have me? I wanted to tell him he could have every single inch of me.

And even picturing myself telling him how I felt, even if I kept hidden how deep it actually ran, the fear of rejection was far too real. The fear of being used kept my mouth shut and had me keeping my distance. I watched him from afar, the same way he did me. And even if it was exhausting, it was also tiresome and depressing. And every time I had to leave for school, I felt that ache in my chest intensify. Those months away were pure torture. Was it hard for him too? Did he even notice my absence? Was my need for him to feel the same way about me just a ridiculous, girlish fantasy?

I didn’t want to think about these things anymore today, so I got up, grabbed my towel, and headed inside. The water from my swim had dried from my body completely. That’s what the hot summer sun did, roasting you from the outside in a matter of minutes.

I headed inside, pulling open the patio sliding glass door. I could smell dinner cooking by Laney, the family cook who came over every Sunday and made us an incredible meal. I could hear the soft music she typically played while preparing dinner. Although my parents ran in a snobby circle and were extremely wealthy because of the distillery, they were pretty down to earth. They treated their employees like family, even asking Laney to join us for dinner after she was done preparing it.

But despite all that, everyone they ran with, everyone they associated with, had the same frame of mind—you never get involved with the help.

But I knew my mother and father, knew they would love me and accept whatever decision I made. But there was still that fear in me, and that’s why it held me back.

And even if I knew my family hadn’t always been wealthy, that we used to have nothing, things were different now. Times changed and societies were aristocratical in some respects. At one time, the distillery had been nothing but a dream my great-great-grandfather had. He had nothing to his name, but he worked hard and built it to what it was today.

I pushed my thoughts back. There was no point in lingering on them right now. It wouldn’t help my situation anyway.

Because in the end, I’d do what I wanted no matter what. I’d be with and love whoever I wanted to.

I headed to my room and closed the door, tossing the towel into the hamper by my closet and walking over to the window. I pulled the curtain aside and stared down at the patio.

The pool house was off to the side, and as I looked far past that, across the perfectly manicured property, an acre away from the main house, I saw the cottage Gio and his parents lived in. It had once been a guest house before Gio and his family moved in. But once they started working for my parents, my mother and father insisted they stay, live in the cottage, and call it their home.

I