her privacy, above all else. Peter was a consummate professional: organised, focused and discreet. Not only was he her type, he was an A+, but, to Judi’s horror, her worst fear was realised when they had a row at work. The thought of everyone suddenly knowing her business mortified her. Worse still, when an opportunity for promotion came up and they were both interviewed for the same post, she was passed over and Peter got the job. Judi was angry with herself, as not only did she have seniority in the department, but everyone thought it was a foregone conclusion that she’d get the position. So, then she had the added indignity of her female colleagues commiserating with her and inferring she should challenge the decision. She told me at the time that it was like living a nightmare, but she held her head high and kept working through it. It was ironic that less than six months’ later Peter was headhunted by another company but, by then, Judi had changed jobs. As they say, everything happens for a reason and she was much happier, but her pride had taken a serious knock and for a while her confidence had dipped. It was a big price to pay.
The pained expression on her face now tells me that just when the memories of the past had begun to fade, this is raking it all up again.
‘There’s something about him that’s different,’ she explains.
The pause is ominous.
‘He’s the first guy to catch my attention in ages and you know that’s true, Seren.’
A part of me wonders if what’s really behind this is a growing sense of loneliness. Judi and I spent a lot of time together and now there’s a gap in her life. I just wish this wasn’t her potential future boss she was talking about.
‘It’s unfortunate, given the timing, Judi, but is it possible that you’re panicking a little unnecessarily? Just don’t jump into anything and see how it pans out,’ I reply, my voice full of compassion while trying to reassure her.
‘I can’t seem to help myself. I’ve worked damned hard to get to this point and I can’t risk making myself look foolish a second time around.’
Judi and I made a pact before I left… get ourselves in a position where we can afford to have the freedom to do what we want to do. Our dreams for the future might differ, but more responsibility means a better salary and being able to set money aside to turn a dream into a reality. If this developed into another Peter scenario it could be disastrous. The sooner Judi addresses the situation, the better.
‘Okay. Let’s put this into perspective. He’s just a man, like any other. It’s been a while since you met anyone you really fancied and, heck, we all get that urge from time to time. Just get your emotions back under control and let that business head of yours rule. You can’t pass up an opportunity like this because you’d end up regretting it when this little flurry of emotion turns out to be a passing thing.’
Her forehead puckers up as she digests my words. ‘I know that. But this is weird, Seren, because I just can’t seem to get him out of my head and, goodness knows, I’ve tried. I’m only too aware that I don’t need this sort of distraction right now, as this is my time to step up and demonstrate what I can do. That’s why I haven’t been able to talk about it. I thought I could rationalise it and move on.’
She sounds wistful and it saddens me. We both decided to step off the dating treadmill for a while. All that time spent getting to know someone new is exhausting. Then by date number three, it’s a case of ‘where’s the exit?’ when you realise why no one has snapped them up. We’ve often laughed together, over a glass of wine or two, wondering if we were just too fussy. Neither of us are pushovers though, and reject out of hand the sort of guys who spout the usual, inane dating drivel. We decided that if we are meant to find true love then it will probably happen when we least expect it and our energies are better spent manifesting the life we want. I think there’s an element of self-sabotage wrapped up in this and Judi’s insecurities are in play.
‘Hit the problem head-on. Just ask him out and see what