'Til The Last Lyric (Life of Debauchery #2 ) - M. Robinson Page 0,1
I saw my bandmates eyeing me up and down.
“We got a show tonight,” Stixx reminded.
I nodded, making my way toward my room before they could say anything else. I’d deal with them later.
Right now, all I wanted was a fuckin’ shower.
My grasp trembled as I opened the door as quietly as possible, being extra careful not to wake Journey. Softly shutting it behind me, I turned to take in the beauty between my sheets. There she was, curled up in my bed, sound asleep. Her blonde hair fanned out over the pillows, the lull of her breath was music to my ears. A rhythm I could write lyrics to. A sliver of light reflected across her beautiful face, accentuating her perfect, pouty lips I admired from afar.
She was the definition of perfection.
Shaking off the emotions coursing through me, I strode into the en suite bathroom. Gently closing the door, I needed to wash away the previous night’s sins.
I leaned over the sink, peering at my reflection in the mirror. Taking in my unruly hair, my deep, sunken eyes, and the unforgiving black circles beneath them.
“What did you do, Cash? What the fuck did you do?” I questioned again.
Unable to stomach my own face, I flipped open the medicine cabinet to pull out my pills. Swallowing them down with some faucet water, I still gagged from the shitty taste in my mouth from the night before.
My body protested.
My neck was sore.
My head wouldn’t stop fuckin’ throbbing.
It didn’t take long for the water to get cold, and I fought the urge to turn it off. I needed the sting to wake me up, even though sleep was the furthest thought from my mind. I gave in to the desire and turned the knob, putting an end to my self-detox. Grabbing a towel off the warmer, I wrapped it around my waist, taking a second to shake out my wet hair.
Treading over to the sink to brush my teeth, I savored the taste of the minty paste. Anything was better than the stale aftertaste of last night’s transgressions. Splashing water on my face and taking one look in the mirror, I warily opened the door.
Vigilant not to wake my sleeping beauty.
I grabbed some jeans and another hoodie from my closet to the left of the bed. Throwing them on in the small space to ensure I wouldn’t startle her.
My feet moved on their own accord, sitting on the couch where I’d been passing out in the wee hours of the morning ever since the moment she came back into my life.
Except, I was usually shitfaced.
I sat there and watched Journey sleep through dark, tainted eyes. I couldn’t help it. As always, the mere presence of her calmed me in ways nothing else ever did. Listening to her lax, restful breathing was my Zen. The sound bringing me peace. It filled the void in my heart just being near her. The scent of her hung heavy in the room, only fueling the fire inside me to make her mine. It was such a reckless longing. She was supposed to be the little girl I left behind.
Yet, here she was.
Looking like everything I’d ever wanted.
Sleeping in my bed, wearing the dress I requested. Despite it being black, she was still the only angel in the abyss of my world.
Her beauty spellbound me.
Her innocence enthralled me.
But it was her kindness, her heart, her soul that spoke to me the most.
She was glowing.
Serene.
Fuckin’ breathtaking.
The sun slowly started appearing through the window, each ray of light falling across her gorgeous face.
Provoking me.
Awakening me.
Making me feel emotions I shouldn’t when it came to her.
My core seized up more and more the longer I watched her. Tightening like a vise.
More guilt.
More memories.
More. More. More.
I battled the yearning to hold her. To tell her how much she still meant to me, to show her the effect she now had on me. I did none of those things. Instead, I waited for her to wake up, not knowing what for.
Within the next couple of minutes, her eyes began fluttering open. She blinked, and our gazes locked for the first time in what felt like forever. She breathed out a heavy sigh of relief, seeing me there with her. A look of confusion and sadness on her face, silently wanting to know where I’d been. There was no point in lying to her. I would show her everything she wanted to see and know.