'Til The Last Lyric (Life of Debauchery #2 ) - M. Robinson Page 0,3
flaws, she still taught my daughter who I was. Giving her the biggest part of me.
Music.
“She’s why you drink, right? The drugs? The running away? It’s Bailey. You’re running from her?”
I tried to yank my face outta her tight grasp, ashamed.
“No! You will listen to me.” There was no hesitance in her voice. “I came for you. It wasn’t Lars. It was you.”
Our eyes locked again.
What?
“Yeah, that’s right. I came for you. Because she needs you. Harley needs you. Your mom, your sisters, your dad... We all need you. Do you understand me? You can’t run from this anymore. Are you hearing me?”
I shook my head and closed my eyes. I hadn’t seen or spoken to them in what felt like an eternity. They were always on my mind. I missed my family more than anything.
Especially, my momma.
All I ever wanted was for them to be proud of me and now look... I was everything they didn’t want. I’d become my own worst nightmare.
“Come home with me, Cash. Please, just come home with me,” she repeated, hanging on the same thread I was.
Freely burning in my ring of fire right beside me.
“I know everything will be okay if you come with me.”
I gripped onto her body tighter, trying to mold us together. Into one person.
I needed her. God, how much I fuckin’ needed her.
She. Was. My. Muse.
My girl.
My Junie.
“Open your eyes. Open your eyes and look at me. Just fucking look at me.”
I did.
She kissed my forehead, my cheeks, my neck, pecking her way up to my lips. Stopping when they were centimeters apart, the closest they’ve ever been to one another.
“Junie,” I whispered in a tone of pure agony. “Show me what love is.”
It was the first thing that came to mind.
“I’m going to show you what love is, Cash McGraw! You’ll see! I’m going to show you!”
It was a memory I thought about often. The night I said goodbye to her, she was so little, so determined, so wholeheartedly loving. I never saw her as anything other than a baby girl with a crush on me.
At this point, there was no holding back, no starting over, we had nothing but this moment. Where she was with me, we were together, and for the first time in my life, it felt right.
She felt right.
We felt right.
The urge was too consuming, too powerful, too life-changing.
I. Kissed. Her.
Grazing her lips at first, teasing her with the tip of my tongue all along the outline of her mouth. I wanted to remember this kiss as if it were my first, as if it were...
My last.
Tenderly.
Slightly
My tongue sought out hers.
It was the best kiss of my existence. The sweetest embrace I’d ever experienced. I took my time with her, not wanting to lose a second between us. Needing it as if she was the air in my lungs, the beat in my heart, the love of my life.
I kissed her with everything left inside of me. Wanting her to understand my shame and remorse, the agony of what I gave up for a life to be spent alone with no one but the memory of them left in their place.
With each kiss.
Each caress.
Each groan that escaped from my lips, she felt the weight of my truths fall upon her.
There was no running away from them. I never could. Booze and drugs were the only things that kept the demons at bay, which was only borrowed time. A limited number of minutes where they didn’t wreak havoc in my day. Silencing the error of my ways.
Journey was proving to have the same effect.
I kissed her one last time, allowing my lips to linger for a few more seconds before resting my forehead on hers. My hands were still clutched onto the sides of her face. Her eyes were closed as her chest heavily panted for air. We were in our own little world. Both trying to find our breathing. When she finally opened her eyes, all she saw was me staring profoundly at her. Seeing my future in her hands.
She knows all your truths, Cash. She knows, and she’s still here. In your bed. In your arms. In your world. She’s with you. Through it all, she’s still here with you.
I couldn’t process it fast enough. I sought out her refuge, her light, her fuckin’ heart and soul. Only darkness surrounded me for so damn long. I was so tired of it all.