Thorns and Forgiveness (Twisted Legacy Duet #2) - CoraLee June Page 0,1
town and drink yourself to death, go for it. I love you unconditionally, bro, but even I think it’s shitty. I thought we were going out for a couple drinks so you could get your head on straight and figure out how to get Vera back. I didn’t realize you’d go on a full fucking bender. And put some clothes on, I’m tired of your elephant dick staring at me.”
My elephant dick was missing Vera something fierce. Despite being hung over as hell, my traitorous hard-on was ready to track my girl down and remind her how fucking good our bodies fit together. I was addicted to her. The feel of her soft skin. Her little moans. When she came, it was one of the few times she finally let go. She squeezed my cock like…fuck. I can’t even explain it. Spectacular. It was fucking spectacular. There wasn’t a good enough metaphor to describe the feeling. If I were a boring, basic-ass man, I’d say it felt like heaven. But even feeling like shit, I was neither boring nor basic. I sure as hell wasn’t going to compare perfection to some mythical place I’d never been to before. It should be sinful. Devilish. Dangerous. If I had one last breath in the world, I’d inhale deeply and use the remaining oxygen in my lungs to scream that Vera was mine and mine alone—choke—she was mine, mine, mine, mine, mine—exhale—and that word would play on repeat until my eyes rolled back and my lips turned blue. One long, run-on declaration of suffocation.
Crazy. I was going fucking crazy. Did I do drugs last night? It was like I popped a little white pill called melancholy.
“Whatever,” I answered before standing up. The fucking room tilted to the side. More bile traveled up my throat, and the throbbing slammed hard between my eyes. I nearly toppled over. Waves of vertigo hit me like a punch to the balls. After a few minutes of overwhelming nausea and dizziness, Jess sent a pair of underwear flying through the air, hitting me in the face. “Thanks,” I croaked before slowly putting it on, somehow managing not to fall on my face.
“Go take a shower so you don’t smell like the men’s bathroom at a bar. I’ve got an emergency stash of chocolate, and I don’t have to work today. We can stop by the flower shop and get Vera some roses. Bitches love roses. You’ll apologize and give her a smolder so we can all go back to normal.” Jess was pacing the floors in front of me, a determined scowl on her pretty face.
I ran a hand through my greasy hair. I thought about my perfect Petal and what roses represented in her life. Maybe her mom was right. I ruined her. “I’m not getting her roses,” I replied softly before stomping toward my bathroom. “And I’m not going to apologize.”
I wanted Vera Garner more than anything in the world. I didn’t just want her body, I craved every inch of her soul. Being away from her was already making me a miserable fucker. But I wasn’t going to be selfish about this.
Jess cursed and followed after me. “And why the fuck not?”
I grabbed my toothbrush and stared at my reflection. The dark circles under my eyes made it look like I got punched in the face. My lips were cracked. My skin pale. Jess leaned against the doorjamb, waiting for my answer. “I’m not going to be another person in Vera’s life that demands her forgiveness.”
I turned on the faucet and started brushing my teeth. Jess gave me an incredulous look, her brown eyes wide as she gaped at me. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Vera’s mother hurt her over and over and over again. And every single time, Vera forgave her. It was a toxic, never-ending cycle that I wanted nothing to do with. Even if we somehow moved past this, I knew I would just hurt her again. I was too fucked up to make this work. Eventually, I’d become just like Lilah, abusing the privilege of Vera’s gentle, unconditional love for the sake of my own ego and selfish needs.
I spit my toothpaste out and wiped my mouth. “Just drop it, okay?”
Jess shook her head. “Oh no, you don’t. If you won’t go to her, then I’ll just bring her here.”
“I wouldn’t bother. I’ll just send her away. And I won’t be nice about it either.”