Somehow Finding Us (Second Chance Sinners #2) - Claudia Y. Burgoa Page 0,2
the other. “It’s easier to fix than to face reality and confront our pain. You have a long road ahead of you. Try to keep your family and friends close. Let yourself grieve, but don’t blame yourself.”
How can he say that? He doesn’t know me. He can’t comprehend how much I fucked up—for years.
I am guilty.
Guilty of denying my love.
Guilty of rejecting the most amazing man in the world.
A sinner who can’t be saved because he killed his own soul.
I make my way outside the center and climb inside the car. The driver takes us to the morgue. I rest my head on the window, close my eyes, and play the memories of us together. Even though those memories are precious, I never enjoyed them while he was alive. I lived in fear of losing what wasn’t important.
When we arrive, the driver opens the door for me. “I’ll be outside waiting for you, sir.”
I saunter toward the entrance but stop right in front of the glass door. I can barely breathe. It’s as if I’m about to cross the gates of hell.
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
I’m about to step into the world where Zeke Hutchence doesn’t exist.
Chapter Two
Ethan
The weight of my feet makes it almost impossible to take a step. My arms won’t lift. It’s all too raw, too real. I lost my strength. I stand outside the door for hours, maybe just a few seconds. Who knows? It’s not until the driver comes over and opens the door that I finally come out of my trance.
“Sir, would you like me to call your family?”
My family died a few days ago. I shake my head slightly.
“Thank you, I’ll be fine,” I say, reminding myself that I’m Ethan Killion.
I am not afraid of a building. I can do this. What am I doing here? Claiming who?
The man I loved but who never belonged to me.
Like any other time when I’m in an unbearable situation, I detach myself from the moment. I go through the motions, as if claiming his body is normal.
“Zeke Hutchence,” I mumble his name, then clear my throat and repeat, “I’m here for Zeke Hutchence.”
“Fill out this form. I need your ID. What’s your relationship with the deceased?”
“I’m his life partner.” My answer comes out without hesitation.
If Zeke is watching from heaven, he’s either laughing or furious at the fucking irony.
When they hand me an envelope with his possessions, my chest tightens. I open it, the same way I would with a bag of radioactive waste. It should remain closed but why not. I’m already dead inside.
His wallet is there, along with his phone and… Why did he have a pocketknife? It’s all bloody. I don’t touch it. I push it, with his phone, back in the envelope. What the fuck was he doing with that? Zeke wouldn’t carry a weapon, not even a utility knife. Maybe I’m wrong. We evaded each other for so long that I can’t assume I knew him well, if at all.
Once I finish filling out the forms, I hand them to the officer. She reads it through and lets out a loud breath before standing up. “Follow me.”
My brain has adjusted to this new role: A guy claiming a body at the morgue. My heart doesn’t get the message. The treacherous organ bleeds with each step I take. When we enter the room, everything around me begins to spin. I hold onto the frame of the door. From the outside, it must look like I’m finalizing a business transaction. The officer and the man wearing a white lab coat don’t know that I’m about to pass out.
I focus on the cold, painted brick walls until I’m strong enough to walk closer. The wall of steel shines. That’s it. The place where he is preserved until someone claims him. Every door in that wall has a plastic cover and there’s a sheet inside. The officer steps closer and reads each one of them. Once she finds the right one, she wiggles the handle, opens the door, and pulls a long steel tray holding a body covered with a white sheet.
My heart slows down as I march toward her, staring at the corpse. I brace myself as she pulls the blanket back to uncover his face. I frown. The pale body in front of me is of a man who may be in his early twenties. He has colorful hair. He looks nothing like Zeke.