A Shimmer of Angels Page 0,3

confident, and sane. Somehow, I didn’t think library apprentice or gardening instructor at a mental health clinic would accomplish that.

Daphne returned much quicker than I had anticipated. Her hands popped up to her hips, and she quirked her lips, waiting.

“So,” I began, determined not to let my anxiety get the best of me. “I don’t have any previous references and I can be here by three thirty, but I have a standing appointment on the second Wednesday of every month.” My monthly check-in with Dr. Fritz, the local psychiatrist who monitored my meds—not to be confused with the school therapist I met with once a week—could not be missed. Ms. Morehouse, my school therapist, was the only reason Dad was letting me attend public school.

Daphne drummed the table with her fingers, her droopy eyes peeling back the layers of my psyche. “Hmm. You’ve got a sweet face.”

I bored the toe of my Converse into the linoleum. I didn’t like her examining me like that. She had no idea what lay beneath the “sweet face.”

“It’s a good face,” she continued. “The kind that could bring in more business. So do you want the job or not?”

My first big decision on the outside. I had to do it, if only to show Dad and Dr. G that I wasn’t some fragile girl afraid of her own shadow. Determination welled in my chest. I straightened up and pulled back my shoulders. “You’ve got yourself a new waitress.”

She tugged a thin stack of papers from her apron pocket. “Fill these out and bring them back in a day or two.” She shook a finger at me. “Don’t forget a parent’s signature.”

Yes, yes, yes! “Great, no problem.”

Daphne’s shoulders relaxed, and she smiled—she seemed almost as relieved as I was. She shuffled off to a table closer to the counter, stockings sagging around her left ankle. My lip curled as I took one last critical look at the uniform. I’d been dressed in worse.

I rolled the papers between my hands as I walked back to Lee.

“Did you get the job?” Lee asked between clicks of his phone.

I pulled my backpack up from the floor by its purple handle and tucked Daphne’s papers into my English binder.

“I think I did.”

He looked up from his tiny screen long enough to offer me a smile. “That’s great, Ray!”

Yeah, it’s great now, but wait until Dad and Dr. G find out. Then, the opposite of great. Potentially disastrous.

And what if Dr. G and Dad were right? What if I really was too fragile to hold down a job, to interact with a demanding public, to pour coffee for low-caffeinated patrons? I tucked my hands behind my elbows. What if I wasn’t really better at all?

Movement in the window caught my eye. I checked my breath and dragged my gaze up from the table, forcing myself to look out the window. Throngs of people passed through Union Square daily for the shopping and world-famous cable cars. Today was no different. The corner of Powell and Sutter bustled with business men and women and tourists toting cameras over their shoulders. But not a wing in sight.

My heart slowed to a normal pace, and a relaxed smile crept across my face. I could do this. I was stronger than the madness. I grabbed my backpack, hoisting it over my shoulder. “You know, Lee, I think today might just be a good day.”

Chapter Two

“A good day, huh?” Lee meticulously wrapped up his ear buds, wiped down his phone’s screen, and tucked them into a cloth-lined case. “I did just beat my high score in Die, Zombie, Die! So you could be on to something.”

Dr. G always told me to celebrate the small victories, and Mom had taught me to dance like no one’s watching. My happy dance—a wiggle to the right, then two bounces left—caught him off guard. He snorted a laugh.

I let Lee’s smile infect me and grinned back at him. It felt good, until I caught my warped reflection in the metal napkin holder. What a sorry excuse for a smile. My eyes showed a bit too much white, my lips a fraction too wide to pass as normal.

Tightness crawled up my throat, and my smile died a quick death. I looked over my shoulder, surprised that no one was staring at the crazy girl. Just to be sure, I checked over the other. I took a deep breath, smoothing the end of my ponytail down, the way my mother had when