Revealing Annie - Freya Barker Page 0,3

through the motions of undressing her and cleaning her up, but my mind is on another child.

One I didn’t even know existed until about a year ago.

Strange, I always figured there’d be plenty of time to have children of my own, even though I’m in my early forties. Finding out I already had one was far from a pleasant experience, mainly because I’d already missed out on the first thirteen years of his life.

Anger floods my blood, as it tends to do when I think of what I’ve missed out on. Am still missing out on, since I’ve yet to meet the boy. Oh, Chanel was quick with the excuses and good with the promises, but after she got what she wanted from me she disappeared, just like she’d done all those years ago.

All I have is a picture on my phone of a boy who looks surprisingly like me at that age. So much so, I never even questioned his parentage.

I would’ve liked to have known about him, been part of his life growing up in whatever way I could, but I never had that option.

Chanel and I had a brief fling back in Santa Fe. I grew up and went to college there. Even got my first job with the Rocky Mountain EMS. She used to hang out in the same bar my friends and I would frequent. It was fairly casual and lasted a couple of months, when she announced she was returning home to Minnesota. There was no contact after that, which was fine by me, it seemed whatever it was between us had run its course.

I hadn’t thought of her for a long time when she called me last summer, out of the blue. This was right around the time Blue moved in with Tony; killing any secret torch I may have carried for my partner. I’d never acted on it—her friendship was too valuable to risk—but having the option taken away so permanently left me in a weird headspace for a while. I’ve since come to the conclusion, if I’d had any real romantic feelings toward her I wouldn’t have waited around.

Chanel had caught me at a weak moment, pulling the rug out from under me with the news I have a son. I can barely remember her excuses, I was so focused on the image of him she’d messaged me. I recall her saying something about tracking me down through one of my old buddies back home, but I didn’t really pay attention until she mentioned the boy being in the hospital.

A weak moment, in which I’d taken a picture—a screenshot of a hospital bill—and without asking too many questions, wired over a decent chunk of the money I’d been putting aside for the mountain home I was hoping to build. Of course there was also the promise of a visit with my son, but that never came to fruition. The moment the money was collected on the other side, Chanel disappeared, along with the boy.

“Are you okay in here?”

Tony walks back in the living room where I’m snuggling the baby on the couch, lost in thought.

“She’s perfect.”

I press a kiss to the top of Esme’s head, handing her to her father before picking up the dirty diaper and heading to the kitchen, my heart heavy. Maybe it’s time to share what I’ve been carrying for a year.

Dinner consists of elk burgers, topped with grilled pineapple slices and spicy peanut sauce, along with sesame and leek quinoa salad. Emboldened by a couple of cold ones, I tell them everything.

“The bitch!” Blue exclaims. Esme startles in her baby carrier, her little face twisting into a cry. “Sorry, Esme-girl,” she quickly mumbles, rocking the carrier until the baby settles back down to sleep.

“Have you tried finding them?”

“I have,” I tell Tony, whose investigative antennae are piqued. “Phone number was not in service, she was no longer living at the address listed on the hospital invoice, and my buddy in Santa Fe didn’t know much more than what she told me.”

“Give me what you know,” he says, “I’ll see what I can find out.”

Not long after they get ready to leave, Blue still bristling when she hugs me.

“You know, she better not ever show her face or I’d be tempted to rip it off.”

I chuckle, warmed by her strong arms around me and the unconditional support. Yeah, I lucked out when I got partnered with Blue.

“Easy, Momma bear, you’ve got a child now. Wouldn’t do if