I'll bet - no, I'm sure that they used that against him.
"That's why I can't stand to think about what shape Stefan might be in right this minute. But I can't let myself get too afraid or angry or I'll lose control of my aura. Damon showed me how to keep my aura mostly inside, like a normal human girl. It's still pale gold and pretty, but not a beacon for creatures like vampires.
"Because there's one other thing my blood - maybe even just my aura - can do. It can...oh, well, I can say anything I want to here, right? Nowadays, my aura can make vampires want me...the way human guys do. Not just to bite, get it? But to kiss and all the rest. And so, naturally, they come after me if they sense it. It's as if the world is full of honeybees and I'm the only flower.
"So I have to practice keeping my aura hidden. If it's just barely showing, then I can get away with seeming like a normal human, not somebody who's died and come back. But it's hard to always remember to hide it - and it hurts a lot pulling it in suddenly if I've forgotten!
"And then I feel - this is absolutely private, all right? I'm putting a curse on you, Damon, if you replay this. But it's then that I feel like I want Stefan to bite me. It eases up the pressure, and that's good. Being bitten by a vampire only hurts if you fight it, or if the vampire wants it to hurt. Otherwise, it can just feel good - and then you touch the mind of the vampire who's done it, and...oh, I just miss Stefan so much!"
Elena was shaking now. As hard as she tried to quiet her imagination, she kept thinking about the things that Stefan's jailers might be doing to him. Grimly, she gripped her mobile again, letting tears fall on it.
"I can't let myself think of what they might do to him because then I really start to go crazy. I become this useless shaking insane person who just wants to scream and scream and never stop. I have to fight every second not to think about it. Because only a cool, calm Elena with a Plan A and B and C is going to help him. When I have him safe in my arms, I can let myself shake and cry - and scream, too."
Elena stopped, half laughing, her head bent against the passenger's seatback, her voice husky with overuse.
"I'm tired now. But I have a Plan A, at least. I need to get more information from Damon about the place we're going, the Dark Dimension, and anything he knows about the two clues Misao gave me about the key that will unlock Stefan's cell.
"I guess...I guess I haven't mentioned that at all. The key, the fox key, that we need to get Stefan out of his cell, is broken into two pieces that are hidden in two different places. And when Misao was taunting me about how little I knew about those places, she gave me flat-out clues about where they were. She never dreamed I'd actually go into the Dark Dimension; she was just showing off. But I still remember the clues, and they went like this: The first half is 'in the silver nightingale's instrument.' And the second half is 'buried in Bloddeuwedd's ballroom.'
"I need to see if Damon has any ideas about these. Because it sounds as if once we get to the Dark Dimension we're going to have to infiltrate some people's houses and other places. To search a ballroom, it's best to somehow get invited to the ball, right? That sounds like 'easier said than done,' but whatever it takes, I'll do. It's simple as that."
Elena lifted her head in determination and went still, then said in a whisper, "Would you believe it? I looked up just now and I can see the palest streaks of dawn in the sky: light green and creamy orange and the faintest aqua.... I've talked all through the darkness. It's so peaceful now. Just now the sun peeked up o -
"What the hell was that? Something just went BANG on the top of the Jag. Really, really loud."
Elena clicked off the recorder on her mobile. She was scared, but a noise like that - and now scrabbling sounds on the roof...