conversation by rolling to my side and texting my best friend, Kara, in Florida. I want to know how her little boy Kevin is since he’s been battling a spring cold.
“Probably a euphemism for something. Running out for ‘something’ to cover his dick,” I grumble against Jed’s shoulder.
“What’s that?” He turns his head just enough for me to catch the wince on his face. He sticks a pen in the book he was taking notes in before placing it on the nightstand.
“Nick. He’s probably just calling to placate himself you’re not pissed at him. Trust me, we’re not going to starve.”
Jed’s chest lifts up and down beneath me. “Not hardly with the way you’re not eating what you’ve been ordering from room service. I feel like I’m eating for two.”
That earns a reluctant chuckle from me.
“Turn down the TV for me, would you?”
I reach for the remote and lower the volume. “Going to try to nap?”
“No. It’s time for us to have a little conversation.”
I begin to protest until Jed captures my hand, pulling me back into his arms, and places my head over his heart. “From the moment you were born, I’ve loved you. I think Mom and Dad were terrified I was going to smother you in your crib after we brought you home because I would just wander into the room where you were sleeping and watch you.”
“Did you think about it?” I tease him in an attempt to break the tension gripping me.
“Not until you started taking an interest in boys. And then I couldn’t be certain if it was because we’d have crushes on the same guys.” We both laugh until Jed’s face becomes absurdly serious—ridiculous because my big brother is so rarely serious. He’s always the sparkle in the sky, the person everyone wants to be around because they know they’ll never be left out. But I can’t prevent the tears in my eyes when he whispers, “You’re the light of my life, Maris.”
“I know.” Before I can return the sentiment, Jed shocks me to the core.
“And Nick’s the darkness.” Jed sifts his fingers through my hair as he solemnly holds my attention. “If he wasn’t one of the most loyal men I’ve ever met, if I hadn’t had the chance to know him as well as I have, I’d have done anything to have kept you apart. If I thought I wouldn’t die in the process, I’d kick his sorry ass for this stunt. I can’t even make up excuses about why he sent you that ticket, but if I knew, I’d have figured out a way to have kept you up in Juneau. He doesn’t deserve you.”
As much as I want to believe my brother, it’s going to take a long while for me to believe that. Still, I nod to placate him.
“He’s just lucky I believe that beneath the land mines, barbed wire, and stay-out signs, he projects a heart of pure gold or I’d cut him from my life completely.”
That shocks me. “But he’s your brother!”
“And you’re my sister, my family, and I vowed to protect you. There may never be a man good enough for you, but one who would hurt you deliberately? Maris, I need you to hold on to your heart carefully; otherwise, you’re going to send me into an early grave.”
“Trying to tell me falling for Nick is stupid? Trust me, I’m already well aware of that.” There’s so much insincerity in my voice.
“No, Maris. I’m telling you it might be safer to swim in the Bering Sea in the middle of winter than to feel what you think you do for him.”
It’s not my brother’s words that break me. It’s the fact I can feel wetness against my face. My big brother is shedding tears for me and my pathetic heart. “Too late. I’m already underwater,” I whisper.
As he tucks me against him, I let the saltiness drip out of my eyes and onto his chest. For a long while, the only sound is the occasional choking sound I make. I scrub my face back and forth, scratching my cheek against our grandfather’s gold cross Jed always wears.
“It will all work out the way it’s meant to,” I vow.
Jed pulls me as close as he can, despite the fact I know it must be hurting him. I begin to drift off when I hear him whisper, “In the end, my sweet sister, all I want is for you to find a love that makes you