Rent a Boyfriend - Gloria Chao Page 0,3

were shocked to learn about your existence.” Just as shocked as I had been when I’d made him up under dire circumstances two months ago.

My parents folded their hands on the table and waited expectantly.

I swallowed hard and tried to telekinetically remind Andrew what was at stake: my freedom from Hongbo Kuo. Disgusting, chauvinistic Hongbo, whom my parents wanted for me for all the wrong reasons, and who wanted me for even worse reasons. If it weren’t for Hongbo, there’d be more money in my bank account and Andrew would be at some other poor girl’s house this Thanksgiving weekend—and I meant “poor” in both senses of the word.

Andrew smiled easily, full of charm and, somehow, love. “Well, Jing-Jing hasn’t been quiet about you! It’s been such a joy hearing her childhood stories about the warm household she grew up in. I’m sure if I had known her when we were kids, I would’ve fallen in love the second I saw her teaching her Barbies math!”

My parents laughed heartily, filling the dining room with so much of the rare sound that, I swear, our austere photo of Yéye at the head of the table narrowed his eyes even more.

I imagined Andrew with a mental checklist, just working his way through every memory and factoid I’d uncomfortably offered up on my very extensive application—so extensive I’d even had to give them access to my contacts and social media to ensure my assigned operative didn’t have a previous client who ran in any of my circles.

“Although,” Andrew continued, “I guess that would’ve been a little strange given that I’m two years older, and when you’re that young, two years feels like a lifetime.”

“But not anymore,” my mother added quickly with a smile.

I could practically hear her as if she’d spoken the words aloud: Men mature slower than women, so marrying up in age is always a good idea, Jing-Jing. Especially because once you hit MENoPAUSE, the men will run right out the door—they hit pause on the marriage, that’s why it’s called that, I’m sure of it! So finding someone older means they’ll look wrinkly too and won’t flee.

Sigh. I just… I can’t.

For the record, Chloe does not stand for this kind of antifeminism, but right now I was Jing-Jing.

“If you’re two years older, then you must be graduating this year,” my mother said. “How wonderful!”

Andrew nodded. “I’m applying to medical schools right now.”

“Thank goodness!” My mother slapped the table. “I just learned recently that getting into a good college isn’t enough!” She turned to me. “Jing-Jing, do you remember Jeffrey Gu? He was the high school valedictorian last year and went to Stanford? Well, I heard he dropped out!”

I tilted my head side to side in a well, sort of gesture. “Jeff started his own company, Mǎmá. He left Stanford because he just received funding from a venture capitalist.”

“He’s a bum! He wears flip-flops and hoodies to work! And I heard he plays Ping-Pong and takes naps during the day!”

I held back a laugh. “I think Jeffrey Gu—one of Forbes’s latest Thirty Under Thirty tech CEOs—is just fine.”

She shook her head at me. “Dropping out of college is never okay.”

“Maybe it’s okay if you’ve already raised a million dollars for your company,” I mumbled. Then I noticed Andrew’s tightened shoulders and realized we were getting off track.

“Anyway,” I said, dragging the word out. “We were learning about Andrew, who is not a college dropout like Jeffrey Gu.”

“No, he is not,” my mother said fondly, giving Andrew all her attention. “Please, tell us about your family.”

Andrew was focused on the turkey, his eyes unreadable. “Our families have a lot in common, actually,” he answered as he dished a glistening cut of dark meat onto my mother’s plate.

She beamed and nodded her thanks.

“My parents met in Taipei at church, got married, and then immigrated here for medical school. My older brother and I were both born and raised in Chicago, in a supportive church community.”

“Chicago?” my mother interjected. “As in, they’re still there?”

She’d always hated how far I was from the West Coast, and I knew the idea of having Andrew’s parents nearby would please her. So of course he answered…

“Yes. They both work at the UChicago hospital.”

Strangely, my mother’s face darkened, the opposite of what I’d expected. The first time so far tonight, so overall I should be relieved, but I’d really thought I’d nailed all aspects of this.

Luckily, my father’s eyes were about to pop right out of his skull. Take