blades of grass to the side. “I can’t even blame this fucked up mess on Marcus. In the end, I was exactly who he wanted me to be. Who he knew I was.”
I wipe at the final tears, standing abruptly, needing to be as far away from the suffocating guilt as I can. “I’m sorry he was right.”
I turn away and hightail it the fuck outta the cemetery. Head down, hands stuffed in the pockets of my jeans, I feel decidedly worse than when I arrived.
It’s done.
She now knows for certain.
My mother knows I’m the monster responsible for the death of her sister. It may not have been my bullet like my dreams want me to believe, but I made sure those dominoes fell.
Lila Shay now knows that the evil that lived inside Marcus is also very much alive within her oldest son. We may not be related by blood, but I was Marcus’ spawn. He made sure of that. Worse, I let that sick son-of-a-bitch mold me into the villain I can’t deny that I am. I’m unbalanced. Unfeeling. I seek out violence and hate. I’m the Devil, and I deserve a fate worse than the fiery depths of Hell.
My car shakes with the force in which I slam the door, working to deny entry to the hollow feeling fighting to find entrance into my space. Inhaling heavily, my lungs fill with the soft scent of the ground I was sitting on seconds ago. The leather of my seat creaks under my ass. My foot clamps down on my clutch. My hand itching to throw the car into gear and feel its power beneath me.
It revs to life at my demand, drowning out the sound of my heart. Glancing in the direction of my mom’s resting place once more, I send a silent prayer, begging for her forgiveness. Slamming the car into gear, I feel it rage beneath me, the exhaust firing like a gun, finally letting me escape the oppressing pain of my own mind.
I wasn’t ballsy enough to visit Mira. I’m a fucking coward. Mom would forgive me, I knew that. Maybe that’s wishful thinking, but my mom saw the good in everything, in everyone. Her love would be with me. But Mira, I all but pulled that trigger myself. How could she ever forgive me? I’m not deserving of it, and I’ll never ask for it. She can hate me. It’s nothing I don’t already feel for myself.
I zig-zag through the cemetery, arching my back to retrieve my phone. Eyes moving between my screen and the road, I hit the recall button.
“Roc.” Raid’s voice echoes through the car’s Bluetooth.
“Tell me you have something.” I ignore pleasantries.
His sigh filters through the car speakers and I clutch my steering wheel in agitation. “Sarah Rein is a tricky bitch. She’s off the grid. I do have a lead, it’s not solid, but I’ll look into it. See what comes of it. Rein’s looking for her too.”
My tongue drags along the line of my teeth. “I know. I want her before he finds her.”
“I’ll do what I can, but he has more manpower at his disposal. Good chance that won’t be a possibility.”
I growl deep in my throat. “Unacceptable.”
Sarah Rein deserves the same bloody ending as Marcus. One I’d be happy to oblige her. They lived by the same sword, they’re gonna fucking die by it too.
I can’t trust that Dominic Rein has the stomach to kill his wife, and if he is too weak, he needs to step the fuck aside.
“Word on the other thing I had you look into?”
Raid goes quiet for a loaded second and I punch my steering wheel, fury coursing through my body.
“Roc, I’ve been searching. High and low. She’s gone. I don’t know how... but it’s like she doesn’t exist and there’s no record of—”
“Keep looking.” I end the call without letting him finish his sentence.
“Fuck!”
I push my foot against the pedal harder, my car roaring louder. The feeling calms me in the same way it fires me. The speed soothing, the sound awakening the beast clawing to escape.
The taste of metal dances along my taste buds, stirring the sleeping barbarian inside of me. The socket of my eye throbs from the force of the fist that landed against it only moments ago. It’ll bruise up, shade my face blue, maybe purple. A picture of defeat, of coming up second best.
A falsehood.
I smirk at the sweat-soaked fucker in front of me. Height mirroring mine,