Pushing Up Posies (Grim Dating #1) - Eve Langlais Page 0,1

explore. It would be thousands of years before he’d realize it recycled souls. But at the time, it provided a place to toss the most lost of the ghosts.

Over time, and with a little help from Eve’s descendants, humans became truly sentient. Why he remembered the first time he had a conversation with one. Grnrg had evolved quite a bit since his Neanderthal days.

Over time, Hell became populated, filling with souls, drawing Heaven’s attention. His brother—who’d decided he would be the one God—had initially seemed pleased to find his long-thought-dead brother, Lucifer.

A lie. Funny how Elyon—the name his brother had chosen for this epoch, though he’d been formerly known for a short time as Bob—got away with not telling the truth, but none of the souls entering his paradise could. Heaven rejected souls for the slightest of sins.

Over time, a competition evolved between him and Elyon. How could it not? The golden older brother who always had their creator’s blessing. Unlike Lucifer, cast down, unwelcome.

Now a king of something bigger.

As a ruler he had subjects. So many bloody souls and demons and other things that sometimes wanted to be called gods. Lucifer thought it was cute when Zeus and the others blustered about, showing their almighty strength. The weakened Greek gods no longer enjoyed the worshipping power that used to feed their strength.

I could crush them like bugs.

Lucifer didn’t need people to believe in him, although he did enjoy the adulation. He had existed long before the humans took over as sentient life. At times he missed the simplicity of the life led by dolphins, but they were chatty things and, for some reason, turned into sea monsters when they died and got reborn in Hell. The Styx was running amok with them, what with all the pollution these days.

A knock at the door made him stiffen. The painting of the child—that pathetic twat—flipped and became a hellscape full of fire and damnation as befitted a dark king of his stature. Screw those that would call him prince.

He was the one and only leader of Hell. While he’d fathered many, all but a few had died. Usually by his hand when they came after his throne.

I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. He’d tried raising his children differently. Taking a hands-off approach with some. They ended up with daddy issues and tried to kill him.

Others of his progeny got a chance to live in the castle with him. No matter what he did, they eventually reached an age where they came after him. Sometimes with tears as they held their weapon over his chest, only to realize within moments they couldn’t kill him so easily.

In a few cases, it had hurt him when he had to act in return. Sometimes he mourned the deaths by not making any children for a century or two. But inevitably, the urge would rise to see himself in a smaller replica that would evolve. To teach someone of his blood. To perhaps finally find a child worthy of his throne.

That child wasn’t Bambi, who strutted into his office, wearing an inappropriate-length skirt and a crop top that showed off her bellybutton. Not that she had a bellybutton, just a jewel pierced into the flesh. Unlike his other living children, Bambi wasn’t born of a woman’s womb.

“Dark Lord”—she paused and gave him a sassy salute—“I heard you requested my presence.”

“Three days ago!” he barked. While he’d always hidden his pride in her loose morals, he couldn’t abide her new sassy manner.

“Are you sure it wasn’t like thirty minutes? Because that’s when Muriel told me to get my butt over here.”

Muriel, his other daughter. The one most like and least like him. His pride and joy. There was no point in pretending he didn’t have a favorite. His new son might eventually take the spot, but right now, he still shit his pants. “Where is your irritating sister?”

“Right here, Daddy.” Muriel suddenly shimmered into view.

A lesser man might have grabbed his chest and exclaimed about his heart. Good thing Lucifer had it removed and hidden in a new spot. Not even his wife knew where he’d stashed it.

His youngest had gotten good at wielding her magic. A mix of not just Hell and Earth from her mom and dad but also hints of other elements. Blame her different-flavored husbands. Each one enhanced her magic in a new way.

At times he envied his daughter and her harem. Then he inwardly flinched as he imagined Gaia punishing him