children. Keeping track of my own shit, my own issues, and my own anxiety gobbles up all twenty-four hours.
“Why do you think I have this tumor?”
“Because you have cells in your body that are dividing at an excessively rapid rate.”
“Duh … but why?”
Before I can entertain him with my theories—based on solid research by some of the world’s leading doctors and medical researchers—his parents greet him just outside of his room. I give them a smile and make sure he gets safely back into his bed.
Several hours later, I take a quick break to get a coffee from the cafeteria. And talk about timing … Dr. Hawkins is in front of me in line. He doesn’t see me because of that unfortunate evolutionary flaw in humans—no eyes in the back of our heads.
My mouth falls open to say something, but then I clamp my jaw shut and replay the dialogue in my head one more time to make sure it’s not stupid.
“Hey, Dr. Hawkins. I have ten minutes if you want to catch me now.”
Catch me now … hmm. I’m not sure that’s what I mean or he meant. But since I don’t really know what he meant—
Whoa! Dear lord he smells good.
Like herbaceous good. Not woodsy, vomit-worthy cologne stench. More like he rolled around in a patch of my dad’s herbs, that kind of herbaceous good. Maybe … rosemary?
I lean in and take a generous whiff. “Fuck!” I yell as his elbow lands in my nose when he turns to reach for a wood stirring stick.
“Shit!” He jumps forward, arching his back after I spill my hot coffee down his backside—but only because he elbowed me in the nose.
My eyes see stars and burn with those unavoidable tears that always spring out the instant someone rams you in the nose. I look at my hand.
No blood.
I touch my nose again.
No blood.
Damn! That hurt like a motherfucker. How is there no blood? I actually wish blood would gush from my nose so my reaction that’s silenced the area around us might feel a bit more justified.
Dr. Hawkins grimaces, pulling the wet material away from his skin while he inspects my non-bleeding nose. I grab several napkins as does the lady behind the coffee counter, and we hand them to him to blot the coffee. Then I grab some more napkins and blow my nose really hard.
No blood!
I’ve never wanted to bleed so badly in my life.
“Are you okay? I’m sorry. I had no idea you were so close to me.”
That’s because I was sniffing you.
I laugh at my own thoughts. How appropriate that I got elbowed in the nose for sniffing him.
“Is it bleeding?” He keeps his focus on me.
The older woman behind the counter hands him more napkins. “Are you okay, Doctor? That had to burn your skin.”
He gives her a polite nod, taking the extra napkins.
“I’m …” I shake off his question while removing the wad of napkins from my nose and showing him the clear mucous on it. “There’s no blood. See?”
The barista grimaces. I take her cue and dispose of the napkins. Maybe showing my snot is not the right approach.
“But yeah … no … I mean good. I’m good. Your ass is probably scorched from that coffee. Hope you have on thick briefs.” I do my best to show my concern for his wellbeing instead of focusing on my complete embarrassment and lack of blood coming out of my nose.
“It’s just skin.” He wipes his leg as the barista cleans the mess on the floor so the line can keep moving.
I place a five on the counter for my coffee.
“Let me get you another cup of coffee.”
“What?” I shake my head so hard it hurts my brain. “Let me pay for your scrubs. Your medical bills for treating your burns. New briefs. Shoes. Everything! Let me pay for everything.”
He laughs in spite of the slight grimace on his face as he moves forward several steps. “I’m good. Really, Dorothy. I’d better get cleaned up and have someone take a peek at my backside.”
“Want me to take a look?”
He lifts an eyebrow. “You’re a patient transporter.”
“Yes. And a nursing student. But I have my CNA license, and I was an EMT for a while. Also, I listened to a podcast a few months back on cutting-edge burn treatments that can prevent permanent nerve damage, reduce scarring by sixty-three percent, and cut recovery time in half.”
Dr. Hawkins blinks for several seconds, eyes narrowed a bit. “Dr. Hathaway