Midlife Mojo (Not Too Late #3) - Victoria Danann Page 0,3
to strange things in your life. Strike that! I mean to say my strange is your normal. You probably take such events in stride. Monster visiting your kitchen in the middle of the night? Yawn. What else is new?
“But to me, such an occurrence is disturbing. Deeply. Especially the fact that I don’t remember what happened between the conversation in the kitchen and waking up in my bed this morning.”
“Perhaps the creature sparked a latent, forbidden fantasy in your subconscious mind. Perhaps you engaged in illicit interspecies intimacy of a wild and hairy nature then blocked it out because your conscious mind couldn’t deal with the images, the sensations, or the fact that you were unfaithful to the sephalian.”
My mouth was hanging open to the extent my jaw would allow.
“You. Did. Not. Just. Say. That.” Her mouth spread into a triumphant smile as she nodded with the sort of gleam that spells mischief on any face of any species. “Tell me that didn’t happen right now before I need an ambulance,” I said, touching my chest and wondering if I was having heart palpitations.
She indulged in a few more seconds of sadistic fun before saying, “Very well. That did not happen.”
“I came to you for answers and comfort, friend. Instead, I’ve been taken on a House of Horrors ride. Before breakfast!”
“Perhaps you should ask yourself if I’m the best person to seek out when you need comfort.”
“Agreed. I am asking myself that and I’m hearing the answer loud and clear. What about answers?”
“You already know most of it. The creature dropped by to deliver a message. It wasn’t intended as a threat. It was twofold. First, you’re in danger. Second, he’s taking care of it. The gift was a courtesy among magic kind. Many human cultures also ascribe to the belief that you should bring a gift when visiting.”
I couldn’t help but wonder if that was a pointed remark. I cocked my head. “Am I being rude when I come to see you without a gift?” She glanced away. “Please tell me. I’d certainly want to know if I’m a walking faux pas.”
“I am not offended when you arrive without a gift.”
“Well. That’s a relief. I’d have to stock up because I come by pretty often.”
“Yes.”
“Yes? That didn’t give me much reassurance that I’m always welcome.”
“As we discussed earlier, perhaps I’m not the best resource when the goal is comfort. Or what was the other thing? Reassurance?”
“I’ll take what I can get. Now that you’re finished messing with me, what does the sooth say about my unexplained time between talking to the Devil and waking up?”
Her mouth twitched ever so slightly. “Rita. You really can be dense at times. You were asleep the whole night.” I scowled, then reached up to spread my WTF lines between my brows smooth. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to preserve what illusion of youth is left to me.”
“I have no idea what that means.”
“That makes us even. I have no idea how I could have slept through this experience and end up with a honest-to-gods physical souvenir like this.” I raised the crystal for effect just in case there was any chance she didn’t know what I meant.
Calculating the odds of Esme being wrong, no matter how farfetched her explanation, I decided to surrender graciously. “How do you know?”
“You don’t come here to find out how I know things. You come here to find out the things I know.”
“Well, you’ve got me there. But if I dreamed it, what about this?”
I motioned toward the crystal.
“In your recollection of what transpired between the creature and yourself, do you recall accepting the gift?”
I thought back. “I said it was pretty. He said it tells the future of virgins. I said thank you.”
“Sounds like acceptance to me.”
“Yes, but I’m not used to things in my dreams sitting on my kitchen table, in pretty-as-you-please physical form, when I wake up.” I knocked on wood. “And I say thank all that’s holy for that. I’d like to keep it that way.”
“Okay.”
“What do you mean okay? How does a thing go from being part of a dream to being a real piece of object d’art? Or more. Who knows?”
“If you accepted a magical gift from magic kind on an astral plane, it will manifest in this reality. Simple as that.”
“Well, for crying out loud, Esme. Why didn’t you just say so in the first place?”
“Because I didn’t fully grasp the depth of your ignorance.”