That Man 7 - Nelle L'Amour Page 0,1

part, thanks to the advertising campaign ZAP! created.” ZAP! was the name of Jaime’s edgy and very successful ad agency, which now had offices in nearby Venice Beach in addition to downtown New York. My hands folded on the table, I watched as he manipulated his laptop, which was hooked up to the large flat screen TV on the front wall. All eyes turned to the screen as a commercial began to play.

Three stunning women, one Caucasian, one Black, and one Asian, all with flawless glowing skin filled the screen. Their lush lips broke into sexy, confident smiles as one of them held up a Dermadoo tube and purred the tagline: “Dermadoo . . . a little dab will do ya.”

The commercial fading to black, Jaime hit the pause button and Ari stepped in. “After considerable thought and research, we’d like to integrate Dermadoo into your My Sin-TV series and movies . . . and in particular, we’d like to sponsor The Sexy Shmexy Book Club, the goal being to reach an older demographic.”

Sexy Shmexy was the highly popular daytime talk show created by Jennifer, starring my oversexed octogenarian grandma and her wacky erotic romance book club. It had been on the air for just a little over a year and the ratings were through the roof, and not just with viewers 60+. My grandma Muriel was even more popular than Ellen DeGeneres and was often compared to her dear friend Dr. Ruth. Women, regardless of their age or socio-economic background, adored her.

My eyes lit up. I was sure Jaime could see dollar signs flashing in them. “How much are you willing to put on the table?” I asked Ari.

“Let’s start out with twenty mill.”

I thought the dollar signs were going to fly out of my eyes. That would almost pay for the entire production cost of the series.

Ari continued. “All we want is for an announcer at the beginning of each show to say: ‘The Sexy Shmexy Book Club . . . brought to you by Dermadoo.’ And then for your grandma to hold up the product and say, ‘A little dab will do ya,’ before the closing credits.”

My grandma was a lot like me. Or should I say I was a lot like her. Both of us could sell an igloo to an Eskimo and a dick to a dyke.

Trying to contain my excitement, I turned to my wife. “Tiger . . . I mean, Jen . . . what do you think?”

Only one word spilled from her kissable lips. “Wow.”

Wow was right! Then one word spilled from mine: “Deal.”

A megawatt smile bloomed on Ari’s face, revealing his perfect Hollywood-white teeth. He stood up, then I did, and we shook hands. “Deal,” he repeated before we both sat back down.

My eyes stayed fixed on him as he reached under the table and placed a large box in the middle. “This is for you and Jennifer. A case of Dermadoo.” Reaching into the partially open box, he tossed a few tubes onto the table.

“Thanks,” beamed Jen, grabbing one of the tubes. “I can’t wait to try it!”

“Me either,” I added silently. Anyone who knew me knew I was a total sucker for beauty products and loved trying new ones. Jennifer always teased me that I was way worse than any girl she knew. The ultimate metrosexual. I had an entire supply closet stocked with every beauty product under the sun and when we went shopping, I was like a kid in a candy store in a beauty supply store. Recently, Jen had made me donate all my unused samples to a women’s shelter. A dozen large boxes ended up being sent.

“Hey, what about me?” asked Jaime, feigning to be the little boy left out.

“C’mon, Zander,” replied Ari. “You and Gloria have a warehouse full! I can’t afford to give you any more after this deal. I’ll go broke!”

We all exchanged a hearty laugh and then I invited everyone for a celebratory lunch in our executive dining room. Both Ari and Jaime accepted, but my tiger declined, having made previous plans with one of her best friends.

Which was just as well. Because I still didn’t want her around this filthy rich golden-haired Adonis.

Call me an insecure, jealous son of a bitch.

Whatever. Because when it came to my tiger, for better or worse, I was that man!

Chapter 2

Jennifer

Sushi Roku was our favorite sushi spot. It used to be located near the Beverly Center, but had moved to Doheny just off Sunset