in the middle of something. I just wanted to give you the flowers. I’ll let you get back to your shopping now.”
“Thanks.”
“I guess I’ll see you when those interlibrary loans come in.”
“I’ll be sure to let you know,” she promised.
Mark gave a little wave and shrugged his messenger bag higher on his shoulder, heading back across the green.
Autumn turned back toward Judd. She felt the weight of his gaze—those eyes that always saw too much and not enough.
“Do you want me to take them?” He knew. Of course, he knew what these would mean to her. It was just one of the many reasons she loved him.
“No. They’re just…flowers. I can deal. Just…just tell me when he’s gone so I can find somewhere to dispose of them.”
Mark’s interruption had seriously thrown Autumn off her game. Because the moment to speak had passed, she didn’t resist when Judd took her arm. “C’mon. Let’s walk.”
“Let’s swing by Brides and Belles. I’ll give them to Babette. Someone might as well enjoy them.”
“Sure. I’ve got something to pick up in that area anyway.”
Dimly, Autumn wondered where, but was too rattled to ask. She’d find out soon enough.
She felt better once the flowers were out of her hands. Steadier. She joined Judd back out on the sidewalk. “Okay, List Master, where is our first stop? You said you had something to pick up over here.”
“This way.” He headed down the block. As she fell into step beside him, he said, “Hey what was it you were going to say earlier? Before we were interrupted. You seemed pretty serious.”
“I was. I…” Autumn trailed off, staring blankly at the display window he’d stopped in front of. “What are we doing here?”
“Oh, I’ve just got to run in and pick up something for Mary Alice.”
“Here?” They were standing outside Sanderson’s Jewelers.
“Yeah, I’ve got something on order. Want to come in and see?”
Autumn’s mind ground to a screeching halt, as everything she’d been about to say simply blanked. Judd Hamilton did not buy jewelry. At no point in their twenty-five years of friendship had he ever given something sparkly to one of his girlfriends. He’d never even gotten any cheesetastic jewelry for his mom on Mother’s Day. And he had something on order for Mary Alice.
There was only one thing it could possibly be.
Something burst inside her, a white hot nova of shock sweeping through her body, reverberating through her chest. For long seconds, she waited for the pain to take her to her knees. But there was no physical pain. She wasn’t dying this time, even though she was losing him now as surely as she’d nearly lost him years ago to a bullet meant for her. And for a moment she regretted that the surgeons had repaired her heart. Because that meant she had to live through this, watching him build a life with someone else, knowing she’d never even been in the running.
She drew on every shred of control she had to smile at him. Because she loved him and she wanted him to be happy.
“No. That’s what I wanted to tell you. I’m going to have to bail on our tradition. I’m supposed to meet Mitzi to help finish up a grant for the library. With all the budget cuts, I really can’t afford to tell her no, even though it’s technically my day off. There’s a deadline.” The lie rolled off her tongue with surprising ease.
His expression clouded. “Well shit. Why didn’t you say something earlier?”
“She just emailed me this morning, and I thought we could at least do breakfast. But I need to get on. You go ahead and finish your shopping. I’ll see you later, okay?”
Worry was written all over his face as he studied her.
Please. Please let me go right now.
“Yeah, okay.”
Because she felt the weight of his gaze on her, she didn’t run, though every instinct urged her to flee. She kept her strides even and unhurried, though she was starting to shake. She kept her head held high, though she wanted to scream. She’d survived more than her fair share over the years. She’d find a way to survive this.
But as she passed the cursed fountain, she wondered how she’d survive it without him.
Chapter 2
Autumn was lying.
That fact didn’t concern Judd nearly as much as the why behind it. She was a lot more upset about the flowers than she wanted to admit. He’d seen her face, seen that subtle loss of color in her cheeks as she’d accepted