cold out there. Now move, you’re blocking my view of The Vampire Diaries.”
I glance behind me to the TV. “Again, Caroline?”
“Yes. They use my name in this show, and fake Caroline and I look alike. I’m required to watch it to support my long-lost twin.”
I distinctly remember when the show first came out and Caroline called me over under the guise of studying when I knew she just wanted someone there to hold on to in case she got scared of the vampires.
In the end, she was more freaked out by the fact that the character who shares her name could easily be her older sister. She switched the TV off immediately and refused to ever watch it…until articles came out about all the shirtless scenes. Putting on a brave face, she overcame her fear of her small-screen doppelgänger.
The damn show has been on repeat since.
“Multiple times?”
“Yes.”
“And it has nothing at all to do with the hot vampire douche-bros?”
“Douche-bros?” She narrows her eyes at me. “Don’t act like you hate it. There have been plenty of nights you’ve watched it with me.”
“Only because I’m a good best friend. And because you take the batteries out of the remote.”
The brat always hides the batteries when she wants to watch something she knows I won’t like.
Technically, I could change the channel from an app on my phone. But, shit, those fucked-up vampires and their shitstorm of drama suck you in.
Plus, you know, it’s chock-full of hot chicks, which, if anyone asks, is exactly why I’m tuning in.
“You know, I—” Caroline’s phone vibrates in my hand. I look down at the screen.
The fuck?
“Whoa now,” I say, my interest piqued by what I see. “What’s this we have here? A notification for Dud or Stud.” I peek at her. “When did you get on that app?”
Her baby blue eyes—the ones that have gotten me in more trouble than I care to admit over the years—widen to about twice their usual size, and she shoots her hand back out from the comfort of her blanket cocoon. “None of your beeswax. Give me my phone back.”
Her voice is up two octaves…and my curiosity rises along with it.
“Maybe I’ll just…”
I swipe down, intrigued that my best friend is on a dating app and hasn’t once mentioned it.
“Don’t you dare, Cooper Bennett!”
Too late.
I’ve dared.
And I immediately fucking regret it.
MrSexMachine69: Are you sweet, Caroline? Because I can make you ba-ba-ba all night long.
And then there’s a dick.
On my best friend’s phone screen.
It’s a small one, too. And fucking gross. Like “the guy should spend a little more time in the shower scrubbing it” gross.
My lips curl up in revulsion. “Is this the type of shit dudes are sending you on here?”
“What?” She shoves out from her warm haven and rises to her full five-seven height, then snatches her phone from my hand. “What’d he—oh hell. Not this guy again.”
“Again?”
She groans. “Yes. He keeps making different profiles and I keep falling for it like an idiot, but I’d recognize that penis anywhere.” She shoves the screen in my face. “See that mole on his stomach?”
I smack the phone away, glaring at her. “Can you not shove dick pics in my face?”
She shrugs, glancing back down. “You’re lucky. At least he plucked the mole this time. Usually, you can see a few long black hairs sticking out of it.”
“You are way too nonchalant about this.”
“It’s kind of par for the course.” Another shrug. “Dating is weird nowadays.”
“Just because we’ve moved to a more technology-based way of meeting people doesn’t mean you should be subjected to unwanted pictures of rotten peckers.”
“It does look rotten, doesn’t it?” She shudders.
“Why do you keep falling for this crap?”
Her eyes narrow to slits as she looks up at me. “First, lose the judgment-filled tone.”
“Lose the dick pic in my line of sight.”
She shoves it in my face again, and this time I’m quick, plucking her phone from her hand and pocketing it.
“Cooper!”
“You can get it back when we’re done with this conversation,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest, staring down at her. “You’re not answering my question. How the fuck do you keep falling for the same dude’s shit?”
“What do you mean? It’s all online.”
“Yes, but—”
“It’s not hard to create a new profile. It’s not like the app gods keep good track of that stuff. There are so many people on here pretending to be celebrities. I once got matched with Tom Holland. It, unfortunately, was not him.”