bride. I’m confident she’s nervous, yet all too happily standing beside her future husband. The priest will talk about the sanctity of marriage and read scripture. At least, that is what happened at my wedding to Oliver.
The double doors are unlocked, but if the people on the other side knew my intention, knew my plans, I wager they would have locked me out.
Loudly, they creak open. The foyer hasn’t changed in the slightest since I wed here. Just the smallest of nostalgia sweeps over me as I look around. I remember how anxious I was before the ceremony began. But I think, deep down, I knew I was making the biggest mistake of my life.
I place my valise in the vestibule, then quietly step into the church. The beautiful space seems large and more imposing than I remember. The Corinthian arcades arch high above the pews, reaching toward the vaulted ceilings. Light pours in through the tiered windows, onto the aisle. It seems impossibly long and leads directly toward a woman in a vision of white. She faces a man with rich dark hair that can only belong to Asa. My stomach clenches into a tight ball. I haven’t seen him in years. He looks so handsome in his tuxedo and white waistcoat. I can only view his profile, but I can see his austere expression as he stares down at his future bride. I stop myself from crying out. From reaching out for him.
It is the priest’s next words that capture my attention. “Should anyone here present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
“Wait!” I shout.
My voice echoes around me, bounces off the high ceilings. I hear gasps around me, and pews creak as people turn and look at me. The priest lifts his head from the Bible clasped between his hands.
Slowly, my hands lower to my side. All the energy and life inside me starts to fade when I see Asa turn his head in my direction.
Asa drops his fiancée’s hands. His shoulders stiffen. His eyes widen ever so slightly as he takes me in. It’s as though he can’t believe I’m here. His future bride appears just as shocked as Asa and gapes at me. I met Juliet once in Savannah. How the blonde, meek, and mousy woman managed to find herself facing Asa at the front of a church will be something I will never understand. I feel a momentary sense of guilt for interrupting her wedding, but I must let Asa know how I feel.
I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t.
My focus turns to him. He’s facing me now, his back to the priest. All he needs to do is walk to me. It would be ten, eleven steps at most, but between us are years of memories, some innocent, but most forbidden. In my darkest times, I thought of them, and they reminded me life did have meaning.
My heartbeat slows and my eyes never leave his as I wait for his decision. Is he thinking about our past? About every single word we’ve said and should have said but didn’t? About every reticent kiss, touch, and smile?
I exhale a shaky breath; we can’t stand here all day.
But then my older brother, Étienne, stands in front of me, blocking my view of Asa. I begin to rise on my tip-toes, but he places his hands on my shoulders. “Nat, you cannot do this here,” Étienne urgently whispers. His brows are knitted together, and his green eyes are filled, not with fury for interrupting his best friend’s wedding, but sympathy. His grip on my shoulders tightens as the voices around us grow louder. “You will regret this later.”
In my life, I’ve come to regret so much. Choices I made. Words I let free. But I know, with certainty I won’t soon, if ever, feel remorse for this.
Étienne is only trying to protect me. Shield me from the curious eyes and whispers that are certain to follow. Most importantly, he’s trying to protect me from rejection. Because even though Asa hasn’t pulled his gaze from mine, he still hasn’t walked toward me.
I realize then he is going to do this. Asa is going to marry her.
At the thought, most, if not all, of my energy seeps out of my pores. My body sags forward and if Étienne still didn’t have a hold on me, I think I