Growing up, it had just been me, my mom, and whatever guy she was dating or married to. She did some modelling and acting, between relationships, but there was never any stability. I knew that everything in my life was dependent on whatever guy she happened to be with. When she was married to Ian the vegan chef, we lived in Silver Lake, a hipster area of L.A. and overnight we became vegan, too.
That lasted a year.
There was also Harry the mechanic who was in a motorcycle club. We moved to a two-bedroom home in Van Nuys and my mom wore leather and jeans and we barbequed hamburgers and hot dogs practically every weekend.
It was always like that. Whatever guy she was with, our lives became whatever his life was. I promised myself I would never do that. That was part of what I’d liked about Drake. I was an established actress before I met him, and he was in the same industry. I didn’t change my life for him. He’d moved into my condo. He’d become friends with my friends. He’d started going to my gym working out with my trainer. He’d shaped his life around mine.
And yet I’d still ended up crying in a rental car in Texas.
I unplugged my phone, grabbed my purse and suitcase (which I had packed for a vacation in the Bahamas) and got out. When I walked up the porch, I wiped my feet on a doormat that read: Welcome Y’all on one side and Y’all Come Back Now on the other. I smiled as I knocked on the wood frame of the screen door.
“Gam, I’m here!” I called out loudly as I pulled the door open.
Over the past few months I’d noticed that Gam wasn’t hearing so well so I’d gotten her a new hearing aid, but I knew that she didn’t wear it when she was home alone. Which would worry me more if she didn’t live in such a safe community.
As I stepped inside Gam’s house and looked around, I saw that it was pretty much exactly like what I’d pictured. Against the far wall sat a floral love seat couch with two Victorian style chairs facing it. The windows were covered with pastel blue curtains trimmed in lace. There were knickknacks on every shelf and surface possible. She collected Precious Moments figurines and the front room looked like a showroom for them.
“There’s my Chipmunk!” Gam exclaimed as she came down a hallway, her head covered in curlers wrapped with a silk scarf, wearing a short sleeve, button down housecoat and slippers.
She pulled me into a big hug, one that I had to lean down for. She said that she was five foot and I’m sure in her heyday she was, but now I’d be surprised if she was an inch over four ten. I stood at a petite five foot two and I towered over her. I noticed that she felt smaller than the last time I’d seen her, which was only three months earlier.
After releasing me from the bear hug she cupped my face with her hands. Her palms were cold, soft and smelled like the lotion she’d used my entire life. Feeling her touch soothed my tattered soul.
“I would say I’m sorry, but you know I always thought that man was a little too fond of himself. He’d take a selfie of his own shadow.”
It was true that the one person who had never been charmed by Drake was Gam. I should have seen that as a red flag.
“We can cry in our sweet tea later, Chipmunk. Right now, we have to hurry or we’re gonna be late.”
“Late?” When I’d called Gam last night from LAX and told her what happened and asked if I could stay this week, she hadn’t mentioned anything about having plans already. “For what?”
“We have a wedding to go to.” She shuffled back down the hallway and started taking her curlers out of her hair.
“A wedding?”
My first thought was that I was happy I’d packed a sundress and the second was that seeing two people in love, dedicating their lives to one another was the last thing I needed. But then I thought maybe it was exactly what I needed. Maybe it would restore my faith in love.
And if not, just in case it wasn’t an open bar, I’d bring the six mini bottles of Absolute I’d swiped from the plane.