Imp And The Beast - Stephanie Hudson Page 0,3

good how she didn’t hold a grudge on the whole kidnapping thing or anything.

So, after a load of end of the world shit, we fought together, and she got herself knocked up with the beautiful Little Bean. One who was currently looking up at me with those big blues, blinking like she was trying to get her three-year-old brain to compute why her crazy aunty was killing flies with a flip flop that had been renamed,

FLY KILLER 5000 in glitter glue.

Not that there had been 4999 attempts or models before it, but I just thought 5000 sounded good. Plus, I thought 10000 was too showy. Now, I could go way, way, waaaay in depth with the story of Keira’s life and the whole bunch of grape filled crazy juice, but well… haven’t we done that already?

So, this time, it’s my turn and my story to tell, something that started with the FLY KILLER 5000 and those big blue eyes… oh and the angry roar that shook the walls… yeah, better not forget that part, ‘cause that’s kinda important.

“Wha wis that, Aunty Pip?” the kid asked, one who has a name of course, but we will get to that in a bit. But first, that almighty roar, that ended in…

“Oh no, Pip, what did you do to him this time?” Toots asked, to which I answered…

“I might have been bad.”



After Toots asked this, I winced.

Toots was my nickname for Keira, my bestie. Someone who was currently walking through into the sitting room with a cup of tea in hand, looking at the hallway with worry etched into her features. Of course, finding me balancing on the pyramid of antique furniture I had made didn’t faze her in the slightest as, once again, she was used to me by now. Plus, we’d been through a war together, so shit like that was a great team building exercise in my opinion. Oh, and I am not even going to get into the whole time travelling Persian circus thing, as that’s a whole ‘Back to the Future’ movie in itself!

Now, back to Toots, who looked perfect as she stepped into the regal looking sitting room that reminded me of a royal palace. She was blonde, gorgeous, blue eyed and was unfortunately taller than me, but not by much, being as she was five foot three. She also wore a black pencil skirt, with a white wraparound shirt that was tucked tight around her waist, with a big silk bow at her side. Basically, she was dressed like a sexy minx, and I totally knew why. See she worked with her husband dealing with the human side of business, and I knew first-hand the kick she got out of teasing her husband. We were similar like that as, well… where do you think she learned these skills from? And clearly, Mr Kingy Man Broody Pants had a thing for the whole sexy secretary getup.

But as for right now, she was clearly taking a tea break from teasing and work stuff to spend time with her Little Bean, who I was currently doing a shitty job of babysitting. But then, maybe fly killing missions and teaching her how to take her life into her own hands all in the name of insect destruction, was in the little person care book. Because in my defence, the fly had been bugging her by landing on her during our fort cushion building.

As for what Toots was referring to now, well that was what I had done to my husband, who I… erm… well, should we say, I tested a lot. But then, I was addicted to the punishments he would give me, so what can I say, sometimes I would have to get inventive. Because I swear, the guy was getting harder and harder to piss off with each passing century.

“Only what he deserves after breaking the head off my Battle Cat with his big feet, so now his armour doesn’t fit properly, even after I glued the little… erm… buggie,” I said, stopping myself from saying a bad word in front of a toddler. Although, it was like I said to Keira, I don’t know why, as who did she think was going to be the one to teach her all the best curse words when she hit the age mummy thinks is cool? Like I said, she will need them, as kindergarten can be brutal. Only the other day, Little Bean came back with