Imp And The Beast - Stephanie Hudson Page 0,2

was, only that it was less than five large feet but way more than five baby feet.

I was also skinny, with just a little handful of boobs that didn’t need a bra, and hips that flared out enough that shit didn’t just fall down. I also had what Adam called a peach bum and heart shaped lips… the ones on my face not my front bum, hehe. Now, I could go into more detail, but I guess there was a reason people never described what their feet looked like in books, because, well, even I knew what TMI meant. But if not, then my feet were bitchin’… just saying.

Now, as for my bitchin’ style, well, I was what most would consider a trend setter and if they didn’t, then they were fools because, hello, my style killed all other styles in an EDB (Epic Death Battle). Basically, this translates into wearing whatever the hell I want. Like now, I’m wearing awesome dungarees I made from an old patchwork quilt I bought at a market in Hamilton, Missouri, which is basically the quilting capital of the World!

I mean I was never planning on putting that shit on my bed, and it wasn’t like I had a rocking chair… oooh, mental list, buy rocking chair and paint… lots and lots of paint.

But, back to now and wearing my super comfy, padded, patchwork dungaree shorts with only one strap buckled. Under these, I wore tights that looked like the legs of Sally from Nightmare before Christmas, one of my favy films. I also wore monster feet slippers and a t-shirt under my one strap, that was another one of my favs. This was because my best friend Keira had bought it for me, a Fraggle Rock one, and I swear I nearly cried when she gave it to me, I was so happy. But then it was one of the many favourites of mine, being that the 80’s was, in my opinion, the best era yet! But then why not, when it’s about creatures that have a thirty minute working week, have fur tipped tails and seek wisdom from the ‘all knowing, all seeing’ Trash Heap, named Marjory, who was located in a corner of the Gorgs' garden. Epic story telling that, especially with the combined genius of the Doozers that basically looked cute in their mini hard hats and work boots. Oh, and they also built stuff for no real reason, only to have the Fraggles eat it, which would have pissed me off no end. As for my hair style now, it was currently in Princess Leia rolls with curls sticking out the centres, and I was killin’ the style once again.

Right, well that’s where we are on the whole mental image of me thing. Now, moving on to the where, why and who part. I currently live in a bitchin’ pad known as Afterlife, and the best way to describe the place was a Gothic nightclub that had a baby with a castle. One that serves humans by night, and hides a hidden world of the supernatural up in the VIP and through the doors beyond. All of which was ruled and owned by the broody, bad ass King man who lives here.

A King who ran his hidden kingdom from the VIP area we got to spend most nights in, being that my husband and I worked for him. Meaning that we sat at his council table and were included in all the important shit. It was a cool gig really, mainly because I got to do this with my home girl, Keira, AKA Toots. This was because she was his totally awesome and cool wife, the Queen. Oh, and just so happened to be my bestie, beastie friend who basically couldn’t live without me in her life, which is a total ditto mucho grando feeling.

You see the story really began when this King of Kings, named one hottie but ultra-scary, Dominic Draven, found his Chosen One… okay so, Electus if you wanna get all Latin, old technical and shit! Well, anyway, this chick was human, named Keira and very, very, very, very, long ass story short, I worked for some other dude named Lucius (King of Vampires). Someone who ordered me and my hubby Adam to kidnap her. Which we totally did. But then when she turned out to be totally coolio and stuff, we became friends and have remained so ever since. Plus, I think it was really