How Not to Be a Hot Mess - A Survival Guide for Modern Life - Craig Hase Page 0,3

Pema and Yeshe, who had just completed the traditional Tibetan three-year retreat. Within a year I was absolutely hooked on meditation. Not to mention the slow process of digging myself out of the societal delirium that so many generations of women seem to fall into: namely, thinking that whatever our body is, it should somehow, inexplicably and impossibly, be other, better, and, above all, less.

So yes, meditation worked for me. And the more it worked, the more I did it. And the more I did it, the more it worked. And then at some point, in addition to just doing meditation, I eventually started teaching it. This doesn’t mean I never get caught up all over again in the dream world of culturally enforced impossible expectations and other delirious forms of suffering. But it does mean that I’m a little better at waking myself up, over and over again, from the dream.

SO WHAT IS MINDFULNESS AND MEDITATION?

The ancient Buddhist word for mindfulness is sati. Sati, it turns out, is a richly complex signifier, and its meaning has been debated for centuries. For our purposes, however, we can define sati as “awareness.” It is the capacity of the mind to know. Awareness knows the five senses, it knows thoughts, it knows feeling tone and emotional valence. And when that capacity to know is developed, we can call it mindfulness. Or, as Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “Mindfulness is the awareness that arises through paying attention on purpose in the present moment—non-judgmentally.”1

Thousands of research studies have now shown that developing this capacity to know experience with a nonreactive awareness leads to a staggering range of mental and physical health benefits. (We’ll get to that soon.)

The ancient Buddhist word for meditation, on the other hand, is bhavana. Put simply, bhavana means “cultivation,” and in Buddhist literature it refers to any practice that actively develops beneficial mind states. So when meditators are inclining the mind toward concentration, kindness, compassion, or joy, they are engaged in bhavana.

In a nutshell, we can say that meditation refers to a broad range of practices designed to help human beings suffer less and live with greater ease and well-being. Mindfulness is both the capacity of the mind to know and the development of that capacity. It is both an ingredient in all meditation practices and a type of meditation all by itself.

So throughout this book, we’re going to offer some quick meditations. Of course, it’s hard to meditate when you’re reading. Feel free to slow down and read this meditation once through, and then do it on your own later. And come back to it whenever you’d like.

A Little Meditation

BASIC MINDFULNESS

Let’s start with a five-minute exercise. Five minutes is just enough time to let the mind drop into the body. And letting the mind drop into the body is a great way to release some of the spinning, storming thoughts that make us unhappy for no great reason. So let’s start by getting comfy. When we’re meditating, it’s nice to be relaxed and at ease, but it’s also helpful to be energized and alert in your body. You can try sitting on a cushion on the floor, or in a chair, or on your couch. Your posture can vary—the point is just to make sure your body feels supported but also awake. Close your eyes if you like, or keep a soft, downward gaze.

Now, take a few deep breaths. As you exhale, let go of any thoughts or worries or plans you might have running through your head.

Allow your breath to return to a natural rhythm, and simply feel your body from the inside out. Explore your inner weather patterns. Is it sunny inside? Or stormy? Or maybe you can’t feel anything at all. That’s okay. Just stay curious about this experience of having a body. Do you feel tension or ease in different parts of your body? Do you feel warm or cool? Do you feel pressure where you’re sitting? Use your awareness to feel all your bodily sensations as they come and go.

Of course, your mind will wander and get lost in thoughts as you do this. This is normal and natural and supposed to happen. When you notice that you’re distracted, that’s okay. You haven’t failed at meditation. This recognition of your wandering mind is actually a moment of sati, of remembering to be aware. Just come back to feeling your body in the present moment.

Mindfulness is simply setting the intention to be present and then training