How the Hitman Stole Christmas - Sam Mariano Page 0,1
clean clothes, then I haul my dirty laundry back to the utility room and throw it in the wash. I don’t have to stay until everything is dry, but I do need to stay until I can switch the laundry over from the washer to the dryer.
While I’m waiting, I kick back on the shitty sofa we keep here for just such occasions and check my voicemail.
It’s my sister’s voice. I’m damn surprised. I haven’t heard from Nora in months, maybe even a whole year. It’s hard to keep track anymore.
“Hey, Jasper, it’s your sister—the one you like. Remember me? Blonde hair, grandma’s eyes, not quite tall enough to reach higher than the lowest row of shelves in the kitchen cabinets? Anyway, I’m calling about Christmas. I know it’s a lost cause, I know we’ve been trying to get you to come for years and you never want to, but… I met someone and I’d really like for you to meet him. You’ve always been a good judge of character and it’s not like I suck, but sometimes love blinds us, you know? Anyway, I’d love for you to meet him and just let me know if you think he’s a good guy. I miss you, too, so… there’s that.” She sighs. “Just please consider coming home for Christmas this year, Jasper. Do it for me.”
That’s all and then the recording ends.
I can’t help feeling shitty after listening to it. It’s not like I have anything better to do over Christmas than drive up and visit my family, it’s just… I really fucking don’t want to. I much prefer my new annual holiday tradition—holing up at home alone and consuming a cheap bottle of whiskey.
It’s not like I’m short on alone time these days, but celebrating the holidays with my family… It’s the last thing I want to do.
I’m not one to dwell, but I don’t have a lot of good memories attached to family holidays. One of the perks of adulthood was supposed to be not having to endure anymore of them.
Christmas with the Hardings.
Ugh.
I’d rather spend Christmas with Frank.
I’d hate to hurt Nora, though. As much as I don’t personally want anything to do with family Christmas, I want to hurt my baby sister a lot less.
I can’t believe I’m even considering this, but I’d have to be a monster not to.
Besides, what if I pass on Christmas and it turns out this guy she’s serious about is a loser? I’d feel responsible.
I guess it’s settled. I guess whether I want to or not, I’m going home for Christmas.
The washer buzzes by the time I’ve come around to this inevitability. My whole body seems heavier as I drag myself off the couch and go to switch the load to the dryer.
I have a feeling dread is going to be constant companion until this shit show of a holiday season is over.
Great.
Before I leave, I make a commitment so I don’t decide to change my mind after carrying this dread around with me for the rest of the night. Once I tell Nora I’m coming, I won’t back out—no matter how much I want to.
“You convinced me, kiddo. Can’t wait to meet this new guy—he better be good enough for you. When are you guys getting in?”
She reads my text message almost immediately and sends back, “YAY!” in all caps without about 40,000 exclamation points. “You’re the best brother ever.”
A small smile tugs at the corners of my lips. I don’t know about that, but I don’t argue.
Nora goes on. “We’re driving up tomorrow—when are you coming?”
It’s only four more days until Christmas, so I guess there’s little point dragging my feet. It’s not too long a drive. If I leave tonight and stop at a hotel along the way…
I’ll figure out the logistics later. All I’ve gotta do is swing by my place and pack a bag, then I can be on my way.
I guess I need to stop and buy some presents, too.
Fuck.
I hate Christmas shopping.
Looking down at my phone, I type back, “I’ll probably head out tonight. I’m just leaving work, so I’ll drive a few hours and get a hotel. I’m gonna time it so I get there after you guys. Make sure you text me when you get there, I don’t want to show up first.”
“I will!” she shoots back cheerfully. “I’m so excited. I can’t wait to see you. And Sierra too, can’t wait to finally meet her. Love you, big brother! See