His Forever Girl - Lucy Darling Page 0,2

masturbate in a night thinking of a girl you can’t have.

Lately I’ve been wondering why I couldn't have her. For years I have denied myself. I haven’t even allowed myself to be friends with her. I cut her off completely, knowing it was the only way I’d be able to control myself. It’s been fucking torture.

“It will be good for you to get away.” Jackson slaps me on my shoulder. I’ve never said out loud what Zoey means to me but I think people have gotten the message to stay the fuck away from her.

Jackson got a front row ticket to the show, though. We worked well together. He caught everything I threw his way. He was who I was closest to on the team. He helped me keep my cool when I started getting worked up.

I’d stooped so low one time that I had him try and date Willow. She’s a pretty girl. She’s not my type. The only type I have is named Zoey. She’s it for me even if she doesn’t know it. No one looks hotter than Zoey. Jackson was into the idea of taking Willow out. Unfortunately, he only got one date before she dropped him. She didn't seem to date much either.

“I’m not getting away,” I admit. I go back over to my bed and throw the ball into the air and catch it.

“Do not tell me you’re going to the same colleges?”

“Kingston University here we come.”

He drops his head, shaking it.

“You know my mom is a therapist.” I chuckle at his sort of joke. I don’t need a therapist, I need Zoey. Thing is, I cut myself out of her life almost completely, and now I don’t know how to get back in there. Or if she’ll even want me back in it. What I do know is that I’ll do anything to make up for what I did to her. She didn’t deserve for me to drop out of her life the way I did.

I’d started to freak the fuck out when my feelings for Zoey started to change. I couldn’t control the things I started thinking about her. We’d been friends for so long.

I’ll never forget that day. I close my eyes and remember the look on her face when she tried to sit next to me. The words that came out of my mouth haunt me every single day of my life. I sit up quickly, not wanting to think about it again. But it doesn’t work. The memory of me telling her to get lost plays over and over in my head.

And she did exactly as I said. She stayed the hell away from me. I rub the area over my heart, hoping the ache I always feel when I think about what happened with her will go away. The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that I’ll have her for another four years at least. I’m not sure I can keep going on like this. I also know that college is a whole new playing field. It will be too fucking big for me to make sure that fuckheads stay the hell away from my girl. Because she is my girl. Always has been and always will be.

“Fuck off,” I tell him. “Are you going to the party tonight?”

Jackson shrugs, not caring if we do or don’t go. I lie there waiting to hear other sounds from next door. When I hear a car pull into the driveway, I start to get up but stop when I hear the garage door open, knowing her mom is home. I’m on edge. It’s the same way every time she goes out.

“I think we should get out of here for your own sanity,” Jackson says, looking up from his phone.

“Let’s eat,” I agree. I grab the keys to the truck, making sure I lock the house up behind me, not sure when my pops will be back. His work hours can be all over the place. He owns a mechanic shop. I help out from time to time, but he’s always riding my ass about my grades, saying that school is where my mind should be. I shouldn’t get mad because I know he does it because he wants a better future for me.

He’s likely right, but my mind is always on two things, and those are Zoey and football. Part of me working so hard at football was for Zoey. I figured that if I went all