with Lilly. Alexandria had begun singing to Lilly and slowly her screams quieted to intermittent sobs. Alexandria’s tender heart had turned over for the poor motherless child. Alexandria began stopping in frequently to help with Lilly, whose father seemed too lost in his own sorrow to help his daughter and over the course of the following months she had fallen for Elijah not caring that he was nineteen years her senior. When he had asked her to marry him seven months later she had been ecstatic and now the day had finally arrived.
“It’s time,” her mother announced as she reentered the room. Alexandria, ready to become a wife and step mother, turned and followed her mother.
Chapter One
Six weeks later
Alexandria stood in front of the mirror, dressed only in her shift and assessed what she saw. Unruly curls sprang free from her night braid to frame her thin face in an untidy halo. Two small, firm breasts rode high on her chest, no womanly fullness there. Her stomach was flat, she mused and pressed her hand across its narrow expanse; she supposed that was something. Her hips, too narrow for feminine curve, were more angular than rounded. And her ridiculously long legs! They were so unfeminine; so… wrong. No, there was absolutely nothing about her to warrant a man’s attention. Her gaze, trained on her own reflection, seemed to reverse looking backward through time.
She was standing opposite Elijah again, her insides doing somersaults as she anticipated his kiss, her first real kiss. She felt his warm breath on her cheek as his arms closed around her, could smell the garlic from what he had last eaten at the reception. His lips had been warm on hers and had sent her jittering nerves into high gear. Then suddenly she was chilled, so cold as he abruptly stepped away from her, his arms held stiffly at his sides. His face was horror stricken.
“I’m sorry, Alexandria, I thought I could do this but I can’t.”
He had turned and left the room then and left Alexandria to stare after him. His words slowly registered in her mind and took up permanent residence there. They replayed in her mind every time she faced herself in the mirror.
Alexandria wiped impatiently at her wet cheeks and turned her back on the taunting images opposite her. Elijah had claimed his clothes from the room and moved into a room down the hall. The only thing Alexandria could figure was that Elijah had married her to be a mother to Lilly.
She loved Lilly, had loved the child ever since the day she was born, however she wanted to be more than a wife in name only and a step-mom. She wanted to love and be loved and she wanted babies of her own; the thought of never having that nearly took her breath away.
“It’s done now,” she muttered to herself as she dressed in a simple skirt and shirt. After braiding her hair she crossed the hall into Lilly’s room and woke the sleeping child to dress her for the day. She truly did love this little girl.
“I’m hungry,” Lilly announced as they descended the stairs, her blue eyes still more asleep than alert. Her white blonde hair was restrained in braids at the moment but Alexandria knew that by lunch, curls would be escaping to frame Lilly’s sweet face, lending her a cherubic appearance. Yes, she loved this child; did she love this child enough for that to be her entire future?
“I’m sure Millie has breakfast almost ready,” Alexandria assured the child as they neared the kitchen.
She entered to find Millie bustling about as she prepared to set the breakfast table. An older woman, ample in frame, Millie had graying dark blonde hair and warm brown eyes. When Alexandria had first arrived, Elijah had instructed her in the proper way to handle servants. Alexandria’s family had never had more than seasonal field hands in their employ; the idea of a servant was foreign to Alexandria. Elijah had no more than given Alexandria his spiel on servants and then taken her to meet Millie, than Alexandria had promptly discarded his rules and set out to befriend Millie.
She had learned that Millie had been hired when the mysterious illness that had plagued Martha had first over taken her. Alexandria supposed she had already known that. She had vague remembrances of Elijah and her dad talking about the renovations he was making to the house. Elijah had converted the formal dining room