The Has-Been and the Hot Mess - Isabel Jordan Page 0,1

two weeks. That relationship had come to a screeching halt when she found out he’d stolen her jewelry and pawned it to pay off his gambling debts.

Kyle was no better. He hadn’t stolen from her or told the entire office she was an STD-ridden whore or anything, but he’d done something much worse. He’d actually tricked her into thinking he was a good, decent guy. The kind of guy who, despite his gorgeous face, olive-toned skin, and wavy chestnut hair, would never fuck her protégé on his desk where anyone could walk in and find them only weeks—WEEKS!—after asking her to move in with him.

Gah! Her taste in men was shit. Her next boyfriend would be a blond with absolutely zero alpha tendencies, by God.

Kendall jumped when her phone rang, then she lunged for it. With any luck, Kyle had realized he’d been a short-sighted jackass to fire her and that there was no way he could keep the agency going without her.

She sighed with disappointment when she realized it wasn’t Kyle calling. But hey, at least this caller was a blond. Maybe her luck was starting to turn already.

“Hi, Ray,” she said, trying not to sound like a defeated, pathetic, desperate loser. “It’s not a good time. Can I call you back later?”

After I’ve eaten the giant bag of cheese puffs I bought on the way home and washed it down with a cheap bottle of wine?

She could practically hear Ray rolling his blue eyes heavenward. “Oh, please, Ken Doll,” he said. “I know you’re about two seconds away from carb-loading and binge-watching The Great British Baking Show. You have nothing better to do than talk to me.”

“Rude,” she grumbled. True, but rude, nonetheless. “And don’t call me Ken Doll. You know I hate that.”

“Whatever you say, pumpkin.”

Pumpkin was only marginally better, but she’d allow it. “I was fired less than an hour ago, Ray. How do you already know about it?”

“Your ex-protégé,” he said. “I called your office because you weren’t answering your cell and she spilled the beans. Gleefully, I might add. She has absolutely zero discretion.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured that out when I caught her banging Kyle on his desk yesterday at lunch,” she said dryly.

And she’d only caught them because she’d felt bad when he told her he had to work through lunch, so she’d picked up his favorite sandwich—chicken salad on rye—from Joe’s deli where they usually ate lunch together.

But apparently all he’d really needed for lunch was Tiffany bent over his mahogany desk with her skirt shoved up to her waist and her thong around her ankles while he fucked her from behind as hard as he could manage with his pencil dick. Asshole.

Ray let out a disgusted sound. “Ugh. I knew I hated that guy as soon as he said The Rise of Skywalker was the best Star Wars movie ever. There is no one on earth less trustworthy than a straight white guy who loved that movie more than The Empire Strikes Back and The Last Jedi. Dumb motherfucker.”

Kendall knew better than to engage in a Star Wars discussion with Ray. It was a never-ending rat hole that often led to him asking if she knew anyone who could get him a meeting with JJ Abrams so that Ray could kick him in the shins.

So instead, she just sighed and said, “I should’ve known Kyle was too good to be true. Tiffany, too. It was at least partially my fault for trusting the wrong people. Again.”

“I knew neither of them would last.”

“And now you’re psychic? Great,” she said, her voice completely devoid of emotion. She held up her middle finger. “Tell me what I’m thinking right now.”

He chuckled. “Oooh, feisty. I like ‘em feisty.”

“That would be great for my ego if I didn’t also know you like ‘em male.”

This time he let out a sharp laugh that actually made her smile. But only a little. “Baby,” he said, “if you were a dude, I would’ve married you by now.”

Now that one hurt a little. The closest thing to a marriage proposal she’d ever had, and it was from her gay best friend. “Good to know that if I only had a penis, I’d be married and employed.”

“’If I only had a penis’…the forgotten song lyrics that never made it into the final cut of The Wizard of Oz,” he quipped.

Kendall shook her head. “Funny. You’re a funny guy, Ray.”

“Oh, buck up, buttercup. It can’t be as bad as all that.