Give Me War - Kate McCarthy Page 0,2
lost sight of each other along the way. The tether between us used to be tight. Now it’s loose and growing looser by the day. We still have our fun banter, but it feels like every interaction takes place at surface level, as if both of us are too scared to dive into the deep waters below.
“You know, this would feel so much better if you lost these,” he says, his other hand tugging at the elastic of my underwear.
“Are you trying to have your way with me?” I’m aiming for stern but my voice comes out breathless and weak. It’s been a while. Physically intimacy is problematic when you have a kid, but it’s even harder when there’s a bridge forming between you and neither can work out how to cross it.
His thick finger circles my clit. “How can you tell?”
“Oh, I …” I gasp when the hand tugging my underwear yanks them down, leaving them bunched around my upper thighs while his mouth finds my ass cheek and bites down. “God, I …”
“You what?” I can hear the smirk on his lips.
Jared knows I can’t form a single thought right now with his hands on me. His unshaven face scratches my skin and it feels delicious. I call it his ‘holiday’ face because he rarely shaves when he has time off from work. His holiday face feels so gooooood.
“I … Ohhhhhh.”
My moans are loud as he plays with me, and he shifts so he’s sitting on the edge of the bed at my back, his fingers rubbing and sliding inside me, his tongue teasing and flicking at my skin. It feels as if there are two of him working me over, and I’m gasping for air, overwhelmed.
“Babe, fuck,” he mutters and groans. “I need you to sit back on my dick.”
Yes. God, yes. It’s been too long since he’s needed me this way. Now. Hard and hot. Desperate. My vision blurs and I have to blink several times.
Then his hands are suddenly gone and he’s muttering a soft, pained curse.
I’m about to protest when I hear, “Daddy, what are you doing? Is mummy okay?”
Fuck. Fuck.
I scramble with my underwear, turning, my eyes landing on my son. His hair is golden brown and rumpled, overly long about his face, his police uniform creased, the shorts askew around his little hips. I want to scream my frustration at his untimely interruption, and I also want to squeeze his seriously cute face, his cheeks glowing pink from a hot summer sleep.
“Mummy?”
His cautious, worried little tone makes my insides melt like chocolate in the sun.
“I’m fine, baby. I uh, just had a uh …” My eyes shift to Jared, down to his dick, where the sheet is doing a poor job of hiding his wonderfully rampant erection, and dart back to his face.
He tosses a pillow onto his lap and rubs at his forehead. I’m not sure if he’s on the verge of tears or laughter. I’m going with tears because I want to weep right now too. The fleeting wisp of deeper intimacy we were creating seems to float away into nothing.
“Mum had a cramp, little Wolf,” Jared tells our son. “That’s all. I was helping her ease the ache.”
Oh boy. I am so not eased.
“What’s a cramp?”
“Well uh …” Jared rubs at the back of his neck.
“I’ll leave you to explain,” I mutter and make a break for our private bathroom. I have a vibrator in the top drawer of the vanity. The toy has been getting quite the work out lately. I can shut the door, turn on the shower, and finish what he started. My husband seems to understand my intent in a split-second, grabbing my arm and halting my mad dash. Selfish bastard. He could at least let one of us have some relief.
I’m forced to a standstill while Jared speaks. “It’s when your muscle gets all tight and hurts.”
“Do I got muscles?”
Jared nods at him, expression solemn. “Big ones.”
Wolf nods as if his father was confirming his suspicions, bless his little heart. “Bigger than yours?”
“Maybe. One day.”
“Pop said I could be a hero too, like you.”
“He said that?”
Wolf nods, adjusting the crooked badge still pinned to his chest. “I did heard him says it to Uncle Travis. What’s a hero?”
Jared swallows a visible lump of emotion. It’s been a big year for us. My husband, alongside Casey, has branched out a new sub-division of their business, the Bright Penny Foundation, which grants wishes to foster kids.