Friends With More Benefits - By Luke Young Page 0,3
answered, listened for a moment, and hung up without saying a word.
He watched as the officers glanced at each other and then nodded. He said, "I'm flattered, and you both are gorgeous. I'd love to take you up on your offer, but I can't. I live one block from here. I was on my way to our friend Victoria Tamer's house to get the spare key."
"You know Victoria?"
"Yes."
"Why didn’t you say so?" He shrugged, and the officer added, "We'll take you there, but if she doesn't know you, you're going to lockup."
Brian exhaled deeply. "Thank you so much. You wouldn’t have anything…I could wear in the car would you?"
The officers glanced at one another and both said, "No."
The two officers stood behind Brian at Victoria's front door. Johnson said, "Looks like no one's home."
"Please be there, please be there," whispered Brian to himself.
Johnson knocked again, and a few seconds later the door opened. The house was completely dark as Victoria appeared in the doorway holding a lit candle. She looked at them in shock. "Brian, what the—"
"Do you know this man?" Johnson asked.
"I do…Brian what happened?"
"I kinda got locked out—again, and these officers were kind enough to give me a ride."
"The power is out, but please come in."
Victoria led them inside, and they moved to the center of the living room.
"How long has your power been—"
Before he could finish that thought, the lights blasted on. As his eyes adjusted to the change, he squinted and looked around the room in shock at the more than forty people staring at him while wearing big smiles. He was, of course, completely naked except for the flip-flops.
As they stared at him, they yelled, in unison "NICE PENIS, BRIAN!" as Jillian yelled, "SURPRISE!"
Jillian walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "They were supposed to yell surprise."
Victoria said, "The change was my idea."
"Happy birthday," Jillian said, as she waited anxiously for his reaction.
He bent over, cracking up, and then stood and gave her a serious look. "I'm going to get you back for this. It might take years, but I will one day, and it'll be good."
She chucked. "Sorry."
"You sabotaged my clothes stash, didn't you? You were the animal."
Jillian shrugged her shoulders and smiled.
Victoria announced casually, "Now, most of you know Brian and quite a few of you have already seen him naked. Purely out of curiosity could I have a show of hands for those who have." Victoria raised her hand. Jillian did as well; Brian gave her a casual nod. Brian's brother Jim raised his hand as did Jillian's son Rob. Brian glanced at Victoria's parents and said sarcastically, "Don't be shy. Put them up—come on, loud and proud." They slowly raised their hands.
Officer Williams had his hand raised; Brian recognized him and nodded, "Officer."
Brian glanced around the room and noticed six of the neighbors who also had their hands held high.
He made eye contact with a woman and asked, "Really?"
"A few months ago I saw you sneaking over here in the middle of the night."
Brian nodded and his eyes went to each neighbor with a hand up.
"Me, too."
"We did also."
He glanced at the final couple. The man said matter-of-factly, "Uh, we live behind you, and there's a gap in the tree line, and we can see directly into your pool."
Jillian looked away embarrassed as Victoria said, "Okay then, we should probably take the handcuffs off now."
"You think?" Brian said sarcastically. Johnson moved behind him and unlocked the cuffs. He rubbed his wrists a moment, looked down at his groin then covered it with his hands. Johnson said to Jillian loud enough for all to hear, "Jillian you've got a good one here. We offered him a threesome to keep him out of jail, and he wouldn't take us up on it."
Brian said, "I, uh, I'm just crazy about her."
Jillian smiled brightly and she moved to him for a hug. He wrapped his arms around her then when they separated he looked around the room forgetting to cover up. From the back of the room a man called out, "Got shrinkage." Everyone in the room burst into laughter as Brian covered his groin.
When the laughter stopped, he smiled. "I was in the pool."
"Okay, Costanza, we believe you," someone called out.
"Jillian, isn’t your pool heated?" another guest said, and the group groaned.
Brian frowned. "Now that's just mean." He looked at Jillian. "How the hell did you pull this off? This was some production. The policewomen were a nice touch."