Forever, For Always - Sabrina Quinn Page 0,4

to see him every time I look at my phone, it also reminds me why I need to push on and survive another day.

I unlock the door to my apartment and am almost knocked over by a tiny body and arms that wrap around my knees. “Mommy, you’re home!”

I bend down to swoop him up into my arms. “Well, someone is feeling better,” I say to him as he wraps his arms around my neck and nuzzles into the side of my face. “I missed you, Benny.” I close my eyes, reveling in the powerful feeling of his hug. That feeling never gets old.

“I missed you too, Mommy. I drew you a picture, wanna see?” I set him back down on the ground as he runs off to his bedroom to retrieve the picture.

“His fever finally broke around noon,” Gloria says to me as she finishes tidying up the stack of children’s books on the end table. Gloria is my neighbor, and my new boss, Carlos’s mother. The hardest part about all of this is leaving Benny with a caregiver while I work. Gloria raised seven children and has sixteen grandchildren of her own. She is exceptional with Benny, and he loves her already. I’ve been a nanny at every place we lived before we came here. It was the only way to ensure Benny was safe and we still made money. This is the first time I have felt so comfortable with someone keeping him. I can already imagine that our stay in Miami will last longer than usual because of this.

“Thank you so much for caring for him, even with the fever, Gloria. It means a lot to me.”

“There, there. No need to thank me. Benny is a sweet boy. It was no problem at all. I made you ropa vieja for dinner. It is in the pot on the stove.”

“Oh Gloria, that was very kind of you. Thank you for the ropa.” I try to pronounce the second word of whatever it was she just told me she made, but thankfully she saves me from the embarrassment.

“It’s shredded beef, dear. Serve it over some rice and that is all you will need.” Gloria pats my shoulder as she walks past me to the front door. “I will see you tomorrow morning. I hope Benny has a better night.”

“Thanks, Gloria, me too,” I answer as I shut and lock the door behind her.

I turn around to Benny holding up a white piece of paper with scribbles that resemble two rectangles and circles below them. “Mommy, do you like my picture? It is a police car and fire truck!”

I crouch down to his level so that I’m face to face with him. “That is the best police car and fire truck I have ever seen!” I exclaim to him while grabbing it out of his hands. “Let’s go hang it on the refrigerator.” Benny grabs my hand as we walk to the kitchen.

The aroma of the ropa whatever it was called has taken over the entire kitchen. I lift the lid to the pot and am in heaven. I never knew something could smell this good. It is still a few hours until dinner time, so I let Benny choose a movie for us to watch together.

Hours later after snuggles while watching his favorite movie for the thousandth time, devouring that wonderful shredded beef and rice, and Benny’s bath time; I’m now doing my favorite thing. It is rare that my now three year old lets me rock him to sleep. He is still feeling a little under the weather, so I’m going to take advantage of it while I can. I sing our nightly bed time song, You Are My Sunshine, three times until he is finally asleep. I always replace the last “sunshine” of the song with “Benny” so that I sing, please don’t take, my Benny away. That is his favorite part. The warmth of his little body in my arms is a reminder that a piece of Dominic will always live on.

Chapter Two

I step out of the shower from my daily cry session. It’s the only time I allow myself to grieve. I don’t ever want Benny to see this side of me. I hate so much that we have to live our life like this, on the run. I’m so scared that he will never have a normal childhood because of it, which is the one thing I had always wished for a child