Fate on Fire - E. L. Todd Page 0,1
“You don’t look okay.”
“It’s just a bad time…”
He came into the house, shut the door behind him, and then wrapped his arms around me to give me the warmest, tightest, most affectionate hug I’d ever received. His powerful arms tightened around me and squeezed me, his smell enveloping me. His hand cradled the back of my head, and he sighed.
I closed my eyes because it felt good to let go…to let my body relax in sadness. I let someone hold me, let someone carry the weight that had become too heavy to carry alone. It’d been so long since we’d had even a simple conversation, and I missed him so much. I missed my friend.
He held me for a long time, treasuring the embrace as much as I did.
When Torpedo got impatient, he whined.
Kyle pulled away then gave him some attention. “Still remember me?”
Torpedo moved into his chest with a wagging tail, so happy to see Kyle again.
Kyle rubbed him behind the ears before he stood up.
Tears were in my eyes, but I quickly batted them away. I was happy Kyle was there because I’d missed him so much, but I was also so upset that Neil was gone. He really was somewhere far away, probably past the moon by now.
Kyle peeled off his jacket without taking his eyes off me. “I wish there was something I could do…”
I crossed my arms over my chest and shook my head. “You’re already doing something.”
Kyle sat beside me on the couch, the rain coming down hard outside. His palms were together, and he stared at his mug of coffee on the table. “So…three years. Fuck, that’s a long time.”
“I know. That’s if he comes back at all.” If something happened to Neil, I would be so devastated. I would never be able to shake it off, to control my tears on a daily basis. I’d be crying harder than anyone at the funeral…including his mother.
“Don’t think like that. We’re talking about Neil Crimson here. He’s brilliant.”
“I know…but stuff could go wrong.”
“And he’ll fix it. Have some faith in the guy.”
I rubbed my palms together, feeling my heart race in pain. “I do have faith in him. It’s just… I love him. It’s impossible not to worry about the man you love.”
“Yeah, I can only imagine.” He grabbed his mug and took a drink. “What’s your plan?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you going to wait for him?”
I turned to him, timid. “Kyle…”
“I’m not asking for me. I’m asking as your friend, Charlotte. That’s the only reason I’m here right now. Give me more credit than that.”
“No, I won’t wait for him. He made it clear that marriage and kids were off the table.”
Kyle shook his head slightly, like he thought Neil was an idiot.
“He said NASA will probably move him around a lot, between Florida and California.”
“I admire the guy for being so committed to his profession, but there’s more to life.”
I shrugged.
Kyle turned quiet and kept drinking his coffee. “How’s Memorial?”
“Good. I like it.”
“I bet. You got a nice pay raise. I heard their benefits are better too.”
“They are.” And I needed them more than ever now. “What about you?”
“The hospital is the same. They replaced you with some new girl, but she’s super boring.”
“Maybe she’s just a good worker who doesn’t chitchat all day.”
“Exactly. Boring.”
I chuckled. “What else is new with you?”
“Nothing really. I joined a new basketball league at the gym. There’re a few douchebags there, but I usually aim the ball at their heads. My family took a trip to Louisiana for a family reunion. That was pretty cool.”
“Been on any dates?”
He shrugged. “I don’t really do the date thing. You know me…”
He just liked to hook up and disappear. “Have you talked to Lizzie since you broke up?”
He shook his head. “She wasn’t right for me.”
“She’s a pole dancer. Isn’t that your dream?”
He chuckled. “It’s not a prerequisite, but it certainly helps.”
As if no time had passed at all, Kyle and I were exactly the way we used to be, having easy conversations that flowed naturally. It was good to have him beside me. For a second, I didn’t think about how much I missed Neil.
“What about you?”
“Have I been on any dates?” I asked incredulously.
“No,” he said with a chuckle. “But do you intend to? Neil is gone, so maybe you should move on…the sooner, the better.”
I wasn’t eager to move on. Even if Neil was a man I would never have, the idea of going out with