She wouldn’t think about that. She’d concentrate on Mac. She’d worn his favorite red sweater. His favorite jeans. The lotion he’d given her for Christmas last year. And she told herself she was prepared.
She was wrong.
Her heart stalled then hammered fast and wild when she saw him sitting behind a small, gray metal table, his head down, his hands clasped in front of him.
Out of uniform.
She hadn’t thought. She’d envisioned seeing him in his Army BDU as she’d seen him each day when he left the house then came back home. As she’d seen him the day he’d left for Afghanistan in the uniform he was so proud to wear. Instead he wore a black, prison-issue shirt and pants. No rank. None of his ribbons or medals. Only his military haircut said he was a member of the U.S. Army. And she sensed how humiliated he must be because of it.
Tears filled her eyes. She touched trembling fingers to her lips.
Mac.
A slight stiffening of his shoulders was the only indication that he was aware she’d entered the room.
Breath stalled, she waited for him to look at her. Waited for his beautiful smile. For the blue eyes he’d passed on to his daughter to warm and caress her. To shake his head and say, “Hey. Don’t look so scared, babe. This is a mistake. Huge mistake. I’ll be out of here by the end of the day.”
But he didn’t say that. He didn’t say anything.
He didn’t even look at her.
That’s when all the hope, all the manufactured certainty that this was just a bad mistake, one of the army’s major screw ups, faded to black.
Only one thing was clear now. Their lives had changed forever.
A hundred questions, a hundred doubts crashed around inside Rachael’s head, sending shockwaves to her heart. She couldn’t stand the silence any longer.
“Mac?”
After several long, heavy seconds, he finally looked up. Met her eyes. And her heart broke all over again.
Oh, my God. What had they done to him?
This wasn’t the man she knew. This wasn’t her husband. Wasn’t the man who had left eight months ago with the light of love and life in his eyes. That man had been strong and self-assured and proud. This man … this man was broken.
Fatigue painted dark bruises beneath his eyes. His face was drawn and haggard, his cheeks, hollow. He was so pale, her heart ached for him. He’d lost weight. The dark prison uniform shirt hung on his broad shoulders.
Even worse. He’d lost the spark that made him Samuel (Mac) James McKenzie.
“Oh, Mac.” Tears stung and her voice broke as she put into words what she’d been thinking. “What have they done to you?”
An eternity passed as she watched him battle to keep it together. Barely aware of reaching for the metal chair, she drew it away from the table and sank down across from him. Moved as near as she could possibly get to him. It took everything she had to stay strong. She’d never seen him this way. He looked very close to unraveling so for his sake as much as hers, she couldn’t fall apart.
This wasn’t Mac. Her Mac was strong, and protective ... he’d be asking if she was all right. If Addie was okay. No, this wasn’t Mac. And she wanted him back. Needed him back no matter what had happened.
She ached to touch him. More than anything in this world she wanted to hold on to him, bury her face in his neck, smell that amazing masculine scent that was natural to him and cling as he told her not to worry.
War Crime? Murder?
“I love you,” she whispered and lost the battle. Tears spilled down her cheeks. “I’ve missed you.” They were words she’d wanted to say for months, face to face. Words she couldn’t have stopped if her life depended on it. Words she knew he needed to hear.
“Baby … Mac. Please. Whatever happened, we’re going to get through it. Together. But you need to talk to me.”
He closed his eyes, but not before she saw them mist over. His lowered his head, shook it slowly. He was embarrassed, beaten and defeated.
“We’ll sort this out,” she rushed on. “They’ve made a mistake. I know you didn’t do what they say you did. What they think you did.”
He slumped back in the chair. “You don’t understand, Rach.”
She barely recognized his voice. The words came out slowly. Harsh, rusty, and hoarse.