Earth Fathers Are Weird (Earth Fathers #1) - Lyn Gala

Chapter One

The belly of the enormous alien ship pushed down through the cloud cover, lightning dancing across its surface of gunmetal gray. Max’s stomach twisted in terror, but he focused on his instruments. The invader was as large as a battleship, but Max worried more about the even larger craft NORAD was tracking right behind it. It was large enough to carry an invading army. If Max had to fly his jet up their equivalent of a tail pipe, he would to protect the planet.

Dozens of smaller flyers dropped into the air below the ship. Max could see three different designs, and then all hell broke loose. The ships might have been alien, but Max recognized weapons fire. The tail of Dan-Dan’s jet burst into flames, and he punched out, his parachute engaging seconds later.

“Engage bogeys!” Ground One ordered. “Engage! All ships engage!” Fuck. Even the guys on the ground sounded panicked. Despite the fact that none of the jets had opened fire yet, one of the alien flyers exploded. A huge chunk went through Dan-Dan’s parachute, and Max watched... helpless... as a pilot he was responsible for sped toward the ground.

Max wanted to tear off his oxygen mask and scream, but he had a job to do. The fear and horror transformed to fury.

He took his F-35 into battle formation and lined up with an alien ship, only to have the damn thing pull impossible Gs as it went straight up into the atmosphere before diving back toward Earth. It was like watching a dolphin doing underwater acrobatics.

“Nose cold. No lock on radar. Negative lock!” Max reported. As the officer in charge, he had to stay cool, so he bit down the more desperate words that clawed up his throat. A new cluster of alien flyers closed on them from two o’clock, and Max barked orders for the wing to adjust formation.

“Ditzy! Bogey at your six! Increase thrust!” Max called. Dee must have punched it because her F-35 pulled away from the cigar-shaped flyer pursuing her. At least for a second, but then the alien accelerated so it passed Ditzy Dee so fast that it made her jet look like a fucking WWI Fokker Eindecker. The alien then shot past Piddle’s jet, and he didn’t have time to fire.

“Radar is bent. Radar is bent,” someone called out. Max pushed his jet toward the deck when his own radar showed one of the larger alien shapes on his six.

“Bells 2, maintain Angels 3.”

“I’m punching out!”

“Who has eyes on VJ?”

“Zippy is on the bug; weapon system down.”

“Patriot missile inbound. T-minus 45... 44... 43...”

The radio barked out orders and warnings. Max ignored all of them. Below, Earth was a patchwork quilt of fields and Iowa farms. A damaged jet spun toward the ground, crashing in a fiery explosion that sent black smoke into the air. Max didn’t even know whose jet that had been, or whether the pilot had punched out safely. Worse, Max hated himself because his first thought was gratitude that his own family lived far enough away that the fire couldn’t touch his parents or his little brother.

Max pulled the nose of his F-35 up and the g-forces pushed him toward losing consciousness. At this point, part of him wished he could. Then he wouldn’t have to see his world invaded by ships he couldn’t hope to fight. He levelled out. Since his computer couldn’t lock onto the enemy, Max broke every regulation by opening fire manually.

He must have hit his mark because the alien ship faltered.

“Bells, bogeys closing on you. Firewall that bitch.”

Max’s heart jumped at the warning and he opened the throttle. His on-board computer warned him as a half dozen ships moved on his position. For a half second, Max froze. He’d never done that, but his brain couldn’t decide between punching out or trying to take a few of the enemy with him. He thought of Daniels and the way the aliens had taken out his parachute. If Max was going to die, he didn’t want his life to end like that. Not like that.

Ignoring every warning light on his board, Max turned his jet toward the enemy.

He woke on his back in the center of a small room. His body ached, and the sound of that last explosion still echoed in his head. He scrambled to his feet and reached for his radio. And found it gone. Everything was gone. Someone had pulled off his flight suit, and Max was insanely grateful that he’d put