Don't Overthink It - Anne Bogel Page 0,2

is widespread and, thanks to a combination of neuroscience and socialization, especially plagues women. According to recent studies, women really do have more going on in their brains than men do. In 2017, researchers at the Amen Clinics released imaging data showing “the brains of women in the study were significantly more active in many more areas of the brain than men, especially in the prefrontal cortex, involved with focus and impulse control, and the limbic or emotional areas of the brain, involved with mood and anxiety.”

This difference may be a key reason why women are more likely to ruminate, overanalyze, and become paralyzed by indecision. We perseverate instead of act, we worry, we second-guess ourselves. And, whether due to biology or socialization, we focus more on our emotional ties to others than men do. According to Nolen-Hoeksema:

Women can ruminate about anything and everything—our appearance, our families, our career, our health. We often feel that this is just a part of being a woman. . . . This may be partly true, but overthinking is also toxic for women. It interferes with our ability and motivation to solve our problems. It drives some friends and family members away. And it can wreck our emotional health. Women are twice as likely as men to become severely depressed or anxious, and our tendency to overthink appears to be one of the reasons why.

More recent studies indicate that the problem is only becoming worse. One study analyzing birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016 shows that, despite increased awareness of the dangers, perfectionism is increasing over time. Perfectionism is strongly linked to overthinking, as we’ll explore in chapter 3, and the findings that today’s young people face more competitive environments and more unrealistic expectations than those of previous generations does not mean good things for their mental or emotional well-being.

It doesn’t have to be this way. We can—and must—learn to do better. The consequences are too serious not to.

How to Use This Book

This book is for those of us who, like me, would like to look back one day and declare that our lives were well lived. We can see that living well depends upon thinking well—about the things that matter. We want to learn how to overcome decision fatigue, stop feeling overwhelmed, and bring more peace and joy into our lives. That means learning strategies for approaching both our minutes and our days.

Over time, I have deliberately cultivated processes I can trust, ones I turn to when I’m wandering into overthinking territory. Over the years, I’ve seen how simple strategies and subtle shifts of perspective can trigger lightbulb moments that make some aspect of life easier. These small shifts, taken one at a time, are just that: small. Yet cumulatively, they’ve transformed my life.

I wanted to share this information with others, and that’s why you’re holding this book in your hands. Helpful information already exists on this topic, particularly on the subject of rumination, but I couldn’t find any existing resources that address all the ways I knew I was overthinking or that share strategies to help me avoid more than just ruminating. As I learned more and more about overthinking, I grew more and more surprised by just how many facets of our lives overthinking touches. I wanted to write a book that reflected both the far-reaching, destructive effects of overthinking and the not-always-obvious ways we can learn to do better.

I got my start in writing as a blogger. My favorite posts over the years have been those that combine unexpected, seemingly unrelated elements in a way that provides fresh insight by letting the reader see a situation—and herself—in a new way. This book reflects that same approach in subject and scope: it divides things along lines you might not expect, covers topics you may not anticipate, and takes a broader view than previous books on the subject. I’ve done this on purpose, because I believe the subject merits it. And we, as women, need it.

We can learn how to stop overthinking on a persistent basis by doing these things:

Setting ourselves up for success. We’ll examine the importance of laying a solid foundation that enables us to become the kind of people who are not prone to overthinking.

Taking charge. We’ll learn how to overcome unhealthy thought patterns in the moment and implement practices that make it harder to lapse into these patterns in the first place.

Letting the sun shine in. Overthinkers too often think themselves out of life’s simple pleasures, but