Disarm - Michelle Frost Page 0,1

too.”

“Do you have any food allergies or condiments you don’t like?”

“Um, no. I’m really not a picky eater.”

He watched me for a moment, head tilted down, those dark eyes roaming from holding mine to my lips and back again. “Okay.” He hefted himself up. “You stay right there, and I’ll bring you another water before I cook our food.”

I nodded, terrified that if I opened my mouth, Yes, Daddy, would pop out. Watching him walk up the path to the cabin where all the food stuff was laid out on a long table, I drained the rest of the water bottle then started in on the soda he’d left behind.

Pax, my friend and co-worker, sat down beside me, a huge smile on his face. “I take it you’re having a good time?”

I nodded. “It’s been a good day. Thanks for asking if I could come.” I was pretty sure that up until recently Pax hadn’t been all that fond of me. Not that I could blame him. Morphing into a brat tended to be my default setting, and since Pax and I worked together at the gay night club, Spritz, he’d seen plenty of it.

“You’re welcome. I’m sorry that guy didn’t show up for your date.” Pax was a good guy. Taller and broader than me with dark hair, eyes, and olive skin, he was dating the Sergeant-at-Arms of the Iron Heretics, Mace. Mace was also the head of Spritz’s security team. Truth was, I’d always found him attractive and tried to get him to take me to bed, even though he wasn't exactly my type. He only had eyes for Pax, though.

“It’s okay. Really, I don’t think there’s any way it could have been better than this.” I bit my lip before drinking more of the soda, wondering if Pax would understand what an admission that had been for me.

He smiled. It was warm and made my chest feel tight. I really hoped we could be friends. If I wasn’t going to have a real Daddy, I’d need friends. Good ones. Pax was a good one.

Axel stopped in front of us, a bottle of water extended toward me and the other hand holding a long metal grilling stick with four sausages on the prongs. He winked at me again as I took the water.

“Thank you,” I said as he turned and stepped closer to the fire, holding the roasting stick out over the flames.

Pax nudged me with his elbow, one eyebrow raised.

I lowered my voice. “Like I told you before, I’m not in the market for a Daddy.” It wasn’t a lie. No matter how badly I wanted to be someone’s boy...I couldn’t. Not full time. Not after what had happened last time.

“Doesn’t mean you couldn’t date him though, does it?” Pax asked, looking thoughtful. “I mean, I’m not personally into the whole Daddy/boy dynamic, so I could be wrong, but it isn’t always an all the time thing, is it?”

Clearing my throat, I shot a glance at Axel’s back, hoping he couldn’t hear our whispers. “It doesn’t have to be, but…” I didn’t know how to finish that sentence without giving everything away. Because I’d only spent eight solid hours with the guy and already knew...if I was with him, he’d be my Daddy. End of story.

Pax nodded. “You don’t have to explain. He’s a good guy is all I was getting at.”

“I know.”

Pax excused himself and headed back over to his boyfriend. The bikers were a lively bunch—talking, laughing, eating, drinking. The sky above was starting to darken. Being July, with the longer days of summer upon us, I assumed it was around nine p.m. I could have pulled out my phone to check, but for the first time in a long time, I didn’t want to. Didn’t want to worry about the time or if I’d gotten any messages. All I wanted was to sit there and pretend that these were my people, and that the big, beautiful bald man walking toward me with two heaping plates of food, fresh cans of soda stuck in the pockets of his vest, and a smile on his face was really mine.

I’d been home for an hour and the emptiness was already clawing at me. It was late, after one a.m., and I really should crawl into bed and let sleep soothe the ache in my chest. Instead, I was scrolling through a hook-up app, a blind desperation threatening to choke me. Why hadn’t I asked Axel to stay?