and friendly hugs. Even that tended to create cleedy fey.
Mentally cringing away from the memory of the one time I’d offered more to one of the fey, I looked around for my next target. Movement to the side caught my attention, and I met Merdon’s steady gaze as he emerged from between two houses.
Unlike the rest of the fey, I didn’t know this one well and had no interest in changing that. I didn’t care that he’d been shunned by the rest of his kind or that he and his friend, Thallirin, had killed more hellhounds between them than the rest of the fey put together. My apathy toward this fey lay in my inability to read him.
Merdon never smiled. Ever. No matter what wattage I threw his way.
He stopped moving and just…watched me. Something he’d been doing a lot since he’d witnessed the one time I’d suggested more than a friendly hug. Hearing me offer to have Shax’s baby and Shax’s rejection had probably given Merdon ideas that I was up for grabs. Not now. Not ever again.
I sighed at the tiny bubble of regret that welled up at the thought of what I’d lost. Shax would have brought me anything for just a touch. Granted, he was also why I had the no kissing rule. Just one stupid kiss, and he’d been annoyingly obsessed with me. In hindsight, I wished I would have appreciated his willingness to do anything for me while I’d had his attention. When his interest had turned to someone else, I’d lost my most reliable source of alcohol. I didn’t begrudge him Angel, though. If people could be happy in this shit-show of a world, more power to them.
That level of blind ignorance wasn’t for me. And neither was acquiring another love-struck fool.
Looking away from Merdon, I continued walking. He’d wander away again. He always did. He probably stared because he’d never seen a blonde with my level of curls before. Yet, his behavior yesterday niggled at my mind for half a second before I dismissed it. Any fey would have rushed to save us. They were all girl-hungry like that. I told myself that Merdon’s conveniently close proximity and his timely intervention weren’t an indication of another saran-man in the making.
He was just another protective fey trying to get close. Like Shax.
I forced away my regret at losing Shax and fixed my signature happy-Hannah expression on my face while I looked for my next target.
Several other fey stopped to talk to me as I made a slow loop around Tolerance. I let them know the price of admission to that night’s party, stressing we only needed one roast for the evening. It seemed that word had already spread because there were far too many offers to bring food. The last thing I wanted was all meat and no booze.
After having spoken to a dozen fey, I knew news of the party would continue to spread, and by nightfall, we’d have a decent showing. Tired of pretending to be happy, I headed home before the sun even reached its zenith.
Emily was still gone when I let myself in. No surprise there, given who she’d gone to visit. I kicked off my shoes and looked around the house for something to do. There was far too much time until the party, and idleness was my worst enemy.
A fey passed by one of the side windows on his way through our yard.
The image of the first infected I’d ever seen clouded my mind, pulling me under, drowning me in a memory. Like the fey just now, the infected had shuffled past the window. I could vividly recall his whiskered profile and the way the light had glinted oddly in his eye, making it look milky white.
I tried not to remember the moment the familiar face turned, and I’d seen the flap of scalp dangling over the bloody patch that should have been his ear. He’d looked in the window, but after a beat, he’d turned and continued his shamble through our yard.
That was the last time I’d seen my father. He’d gone outside to see whose dog was running loose. In hindsight, I now knew it hadn’t been a dog but a hellhound.
Releasing a shuddering breath, I moved away from the windows and went to search the cupboards again, hoping I’d overlooked a bottle. I wasn’t that lucky. I never was.
Hands shaking, I fluffed my hair and started for the door. Some fey out there had