Dear Daddy, Please Love Me - Gianni Holmes Page 0,1
okay to compromise. Maddy’s father owned the building and had put Maddy in charge. Another way of saying he didn’t want his gay son hanging around him, so he got him something to occupy his time meaningfully so Maddy would leave him alone.
“What did you want?” Maddy said, clothes rustling as he got dressed. “And I hope it’s something urgent.”
The reminder of my argument with Robert heated me up again.
“Robert broke up with me!”
“What? But he’s sweet on you.”
I snorted. “Apparently, not sweet enough. He already has another boy to replace me, and I hate it. How can he do that to me? He can’t be tired of me already. Usually, it takes longer for men to discard me. What am I doing wrong, Maddy?”
“Invading people’s privacy for one.”
“But I never even looked through his phone.” I cringed at the lie. “Okay, maybe only once, and he doesn’t know it.”
“Well, men hate that sort of thing. It means you don’t trust him.”
“I was right not to trust him. Didn’t you hear me say he already has another boy?”
“You can turn around now.” He was fully dressed in a pair of blue shorts with white piping at the sides and a red T-shirt. I liked the towel better.
“Now start from the beginning and tell me what happened.”
“You know he told me to come over today, and I was so excited,” I replied. “Do you know how much time I spent in the bathroom this morning shaving and prepping?” A lot.
“Then what happened when you got to his house.”
“He took me to his bedroom, and we had sex.” Really good sex. “And then he told me I have to find another Daddy.”
“Wait. What? He had sex with you, then broke up with you?”
I nodded. “Exactly what the asshole did.”
“What a fucking douche.”
My head continued to bob up and down. I knew he’d get it. Once we got over the whole embarrassing encounter of what he was doing lying in bed naked with a dildo and a porn video.
“Of the worst kind.”
“Did he say why?”
I bit my bottom lip, feeling suddenly hurt. I didn’t want to relive the harsh words that had come out of the mouth of the man who I thought was the one. The man who’d walked into my workplace one night and swept me off my feet with promises, only to drop me like hot pancakes a day after.
“What did he say, Opie?” Maddy pressed.
“He said the sex was good, but out of bed, I am cold and hard to love.” I sat gingerly at the edge of Maddy’s bed and tried like hell to keep the tears at bay. “Why do they always say that? What about me makes me cold?”
When deafening silence fell, I glanced up at Maddy. Did he also think I was cold and unlovable?
“You agree with them?” That was what bugged me. Robert wasn’t the only one who’d called me cold.
“Of course, I don’t agree with them.”
I jumped to my feet. “You do!”
“No, it’s not that.”
“Then what is it?” I clenched my hands into fists at my side, my body shaking. “If I’m doing something wrong, why won’t you tell me?”
Maddy’s sigh drove fear inside me. Whatever he had to say, I wouldn’t like it.
“It’s not that you’re doing anything wrong per se,” he said. “It’s just that…”
“What?”
“You’re more attached to things than people.” I opened my mouth to respond, but he held up a hand. “No, no, just hear me out. I understand why you’re this way. You never had much growing up, and the right man won’t just give up on you for it, but maybe try to be with someone for other reasons than that he’s loaded.”
“All right, I admit I like nice things, but that’s not the only reason I choose my men.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No!”
“Why did you choose Robert, then?”
Easy-peasy. “He’s older, financially independent, and has no baggage.”
“In other words, he’s wealthy and has very few responsibilities, so he can afford to spend his money on you.”
Okay, maybe Robert hadn’t been a good example.
“What about Marvin?” I snapped my fingers at him.
“What about him? You could barely stand the guy. You were with him simply because he spent a lot of money on you at the club.”
Mentally, I slogged through the various men I’d had in my life. It didn’t help that I couldn’t pick out a single name to prove Maddy wrong. Not even one.
“I don’t think it’s wrong to want to be financially secure,” I said defensively.