“Luke,” I say gently, reaching forward to caress the shadow of gold across his chin. The constant stubble is new. I can’t tell if he’s growing a beard, or just keeping it closely cropped. Either way, I think I like it. “You look like you haven’t slept. And you’ve been under a tremendous amount of stress with a long day ahead. Let me make a strengthening brew for you and then something for you to take tonight to help you sleep.”
“I haven’t slept because I have been preparing for us to leave before war breaks out.” Luke pushes away from the counter and ducks underneath the thoroughfare. I’m cornered—counter on one side, shelves of herbs on the other, Luke before me, no exit behind. “I want to take you away. I want to keep you safe.”
“Luke,” I say gingerly, pleading. I want to pretend like he’s joking but I can tell he’s deathly serious. “I can’t just leave.”
“Yes you can, of course you can.” The tone of his voice gives me pause. The way he’s looking at me now leaves me breathless. I have to remind myself to breathe. “I want to take you away and spend time with you, and only you, Luella. Surely, you know…I’ve loved you for a long time.”
I open and close my mouth, several times. Yes, I knew. And I love him too. I love him enough that I dreamed of this moment. But in my dreams I was wearing something nicer than my work smock and I didn’t stink of lavender oil.
His expression falls in the wake of my silence. “Oh, I see… And here I thought that you might—”
“I love you too.” As soon as I get the words out, sensation returns. Tingling vanishes from my toes. My whole body bursts with laughter. “I’ve loved you since I was a child.”
“Then run away with me, Luella.” Luke grabs my hands. His thumbs run over my knuckles.
My soul is soaring over the roof. Yet my feet are rooted deep in the land of the people I’ve vowed to serve.
“You know I can’t,” I whisper.
“But you love me.”
“I do.”
“Then let’s go.” He tugs at my hands.
“I can’t.” I’m unbudging. His expression falls into something I don’t recognize. “I want to, Luke. I wish I could go with you. But I can’t just leave. This town has invested so much in me; I must be here when they need me.”
The people of Capton paid for my years at academy when my parents could not afford them. They bought me room and board. They supported me at every turn with the hard-earned and scraped-together change at the bottoms of their pockets.
“Besides,” I continue, softer. “If the Human Queen isn’t found, and the council can’t sort things with the elves, there’s nowhere we could run. All of humanity is doomed at that point. I would rather stay here with our people and face whatever may come.”
“We could find a way,” he insists. I shake my head. “If you love me, truly love me, then that’s all you need. Our love is enough.”
“But—” I don’t get to finish.
In a wide step, he closes the distance between us. One arm snakes around my waist. The other cups my cheek. He tilts my face upward and I don’t fight him. I don’t want to.
Luke’s lips meet mine as my eyes close.
The stubble that lines his lips is rough on my face. But I hardly notice; my sole focus is kissing him. How much movement is too much, and how much is too little, when it comes to kissing?
Unexpectedly, I desperately wish I’d given in to the boys at the academy and allowed them to “teach me kissing” when they found out I’d never been kissed before. I had been waiting for this moment. I’d been waiting for these lips.
Yet…as he pulls away, I’m left awkward and unfulfilled. None of this is quite how I imagined it would happen. I’m not soaring. My heart isn’t fluttering. Something in me is detached and…sad?
A soft ahem comes from the doorway behind us. Luke turns. My face is hot as I meet my mother’s grinning eyes—the same shade of hazel as mine. To make embarrassing and awkward matters worse, my kettle begins to hiss and the sleeping draught I was making is now boiling over my counter.
“Oh!” I rush over, beginning to mop up the mess.
My mother crosses with a laugh, helping lift the kettle off the heat. “Luke, it’s good to see you;