Christmas in Pine Island - Christina Benjamin Page 0,2

bemused.

Jake shrugs. “We figured the news might spice up our holiday tradition a little bit.”

My heart races as I watch them gaze lovingly at one another. I know I should be filled with nothing but joy at my best friend’s announcement, but my emotions are way more complicated than that. Guilt over not being purely delighted roots itself deep in my core, though somehow I force the bright smile Stacy deserves to my face.

“The Hartbreak Kid is trading it all in for dad-bod, huh?” Eric howls, clearly, finding his joke hilarious. He takes a quick swig of his gin-less tonic. “Imagine that! I bet your fangirls everywhere will have a total meltdown over this. First, you get engaged, now you’ve got a kid on the way!”

“Let’s bring it down a notch,” Jake mutters. He’s smiling, though his expression has turned firm. “Like I said, it’s new. We don’t need someone overhearing us and blabbing to the tabloids.”

Eric winks and pretends to zip his lips.

“Seriously though, we are so happy for you guys!” Morgan gushes.

Realizing I hadn't said anything in a while, I force myself to nod quickly. “So happy!” I add, hoping I sound convincing enough.

After all, I am happy for them. Their announcement has just caused some of my own insecurities to simmer up to the surface unexpectedly. My stomach is clenching so hard that I nearly lose my breath. I need to get it together.

I hastily set my drink down and almost spill it. Ice clinks against the edge of the glass, amber liquid sloshing down onto the VIP table as I reach over to gently grab one of Stacy’s hands. “You and Jake already do such a wonderful job with Ryan. You’re going to be fabulous parents to this little bundle of joy,” I tell her earnestly, relieved to feel truth in every word.

Stacy’s hazel eyes soften as she squeezes my hand. “Thank you, Chloe. Ryan is thrilled to be a big brother. It’s all he can talk about.” She laughs, though the sound is stifled through her tense smile.

Weird. Stacy is the most nurturing, easy-going of the three of us girls. Morgan and I jokingly called her ‘mom’ when we were roommates.

I eye her carefully. Maybe she’s just uncomfortable being in a bar while pregnant. Can’t blame her there. Even I think it’s a bit kitschy that we still come to this seedy place now that we’re not struggling twenty-somethings anymore.

Though I continue to congratulate Stacy and Jake along with the rest of the group, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a tiny bit envious. Donovan and I are so happy together . . . but I also feel so far from the baby-having stage.

Hell, we haven’t even set a wedding date yet!

I know it’s not a race, but Donovan and I have been together much longer than Stacy and Jake. Yet I know we’re nowhere near ready to be talking babies.

The only baby in our life is our company.

I love working at Dunn Advertising at Donovan’s side and making that business boom. After all, I’ve always been the career-oriented one. I learned early on that if you want something, you have to work tooth-and-nail for it—and I’ve done just that.

I worked my butt off to put myself through college and it paid off. I graduated near the top of my class and got my dream job and my dream man. I’ve always fantasized about being successful, and now I am . . . but lately, pestering doubts have started to creep in.

I don’t want to be married just to my job. I want more than that for my future. But what about Donovan? We’ve never really talked about what we want for our future beyond our career goals.

I steal a glance at my fiancé, recognizing the faint clench of Donovan’s tan jaw. He’s grinning too, but I can see his mind churning behind his bright blue eyes.

This baby news has set him on edge, too.

Is the reason he’s been dragging his feet on setting a wedding date just because we’re so wrapped up with work, or is it something more? Is it me?

He and I got engaged so quickly after we met. At the time, I was sure it was meant to be, but is he regretting his hasty proposal now? I mean, how could I blame him?

Donovan was engaged before he met me. He’d already fallen in love with someone. Someone he unexpectedly lost forever.

I’m not trying to replace Vivian, and Donovan