moved to her bedroom window—the lights were out—she must have been sleeping. I wanted to crawl into her bed, hold her tight, and promise Charlotte we would get through this somehow.
We could run away, leave everyone and everything behind. I’d do that for her if she asked me. I would do anything as long as it meant she stayed in my life.
We slept in separate rooms that night, but I didn’t sleep. Samantha chose not to talk to me, nor did she bring up Charlotte again. I lay awake thinking of ways to get out of this. How could I have let this happen? I didn’t recall having sex with her, but then again, I’d been so intoxicated.
I had to see Charlotte, just one more time. I still didn’t know what I was going to do. Tomorrow, I thought, I would tell her before someone else did.
Tomorrow arrived quicker than I anticipated, and with my gut in wrenching pain all day, I decided tequila would solve the problem. So maybe I drank more than I should have, but it eased the pain and hid that hollow feeling that seeped into every crevice.
On top of the cliff, at our special place, she sensed it straight away and called me out on it. What I didn’t expect was for her to think I was telling her that it was over. The pain stabbed me, not tiny daggers but samurai swords, deep cuts bound to leave permanent scars. One by one I felt them strike as I watched her expression. The sword was pulled out of my heart for a moment, so I could say the words which echoed in my head—I couldn’t breathe without her.
“Ride or die, ‘til death us do part.”
I left Charlotte that day promising her I’d find a way for us to be together. Somehow, there had to be an answer to would solve this massive fucking mess I created.
It bought me more time to figure something out.
Once I sobered up, I planned it out. I was going to tell Samantha I’d support her and the baby, but I couldn’t go on with our marriage. I didn’t love her. My heart belonged to Charlotte, it always would.
As I drove into my driveway, I noticed my parents’ car parked behind ours. Oh, for fuck’s sake, more baby talk. Taking in deep breaths, I prepared myself for the overjoyed baby talk about to fall all over me.
The moment I stepped inside the house, I heard sobbing. It was coming from the living room. I walked down the hallway to find Samantha buried into my mother’s arms, my father looking furious, and Adriana, well, she sat there staring at the floor.
“What’s going on?” I asked, hesitating as the ambiance in the room was morbid.
“How could you do this to Samantha, Alex?”
“Mom, what are you talking about? Do what?”
“Charlie.” My father strained as he spoke.
Oh fuck.
My shoulders crumpled as my eyes fell to the floor, unable to come up with anything worthy.
I knew one day it would come out, but I didn’t think it would be in front of my parents like this. I searched my brain for an explanation, but nothing I said or did would ease this moment.
“Dad, I just—”
“You have screwed up big time, Alexander!” His voice echoed, bouncing off the walls with a loud aftershock startling everyone inside the room. “Your wife went into the hospital today with pains after she found emails between you and Charlie. Not only have you dishonored your marriage, but you have put your child’s life at risk. What the hell were you thinking? She’s eighteen!”
There were no words to explain how much I loved Charlotte, that she was everything to me. I looked at Adriana, who still refused to look my way. She’d felt betrayed by her best friend, surely. It shouldn’t be this way. She knew Charlotte better than anyone else. Why couldn’t she understand why I did this? I walked over to Adriana placing my hand on her shoulder only to be met by a cold stare.
“It has been decided that you and Samantha will leave for San Francisco tonight. Her sister’s apartment has been vacated for months, so you’ll be staying there. I’ll have all your things sent to you in the next few days. You are not to contact Charlie—”
The guilt I had been feeling is suddenly overridden by anger. I walked toward where my father stood, standing eye to eye meeting his stance and interrupted his tirade, “Dad,