I never thought of before the party from hell. With my phone taken away, I feel even more panicky. I’m sure a lot of people would just say I’m a typical teenager addicted to their phone. *cue eye roll* But it’s more than that; it's the lack of a lifeline if something were to happen, not only to me but to someone I care about.
Should I talk to someone? Yes, and I probably will when things calm down, which will hopefully be soon. Nothing like a second criminal trial in the course of your senior year and the likely possibility of testifying to help build character.
In all actuality, I know I’m not alone. I have my friends and the guys—much to my mom’s dislike—but as much as I care about them, as much as they’re a part of my life… they’re not my mom. Or my dad for that matter, but he’s at least reached out in an attempt to bridge our communication gap. It’s hard and it sucks, and while a portion of me wants to cut ties (as best as one can when living in the same house) to save some heartache, there’s one chunk of me still cemented in that family I had in California.
But I think that’s all I can really muster for currently, Diary. There’s plenty more, and I’m sure they’ll be word vomited into a new entry, but for now, I’m going to snuggle my teddy bear and lie in bed. Bye for now.
Pushing away from the desk, I walked over to my bed, not even changing into pjs before I flopped onto the mattress.
Only four months until graduation.
I can totally mend everything with my mom by then…
Hopefully.
2
January 29th
Did you know that there’s a thing called black ice? Yeah. I freaking tripped on it even though it looked totally normal. Why on Earth do I live somewhere that has invisible ice??
Despite the dreary winter weather on a Wednesday evening, Coffee Grounds was bustling as people stopped by for a hot drink and tasty treat on their way home after work. Lyla and I had spent the first couple hours of my afterschool shift taking and filling orders nonstop until the crowd finally started to slow. Sighing, I wiped the bead of sweat that had formed on my brow, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear in the process.
“Phew,” Lyla huffed breathlessly, slumping against the counter. “I’m beat! Is it time to close up yet?”
“Still have another hour, Ly,” I reminded her with a moan. All I wanted was to go home and curl under my blanket even if it meant handing over my phone.
The guys understood why I hadn’t texted since I had logged on briefly to my social media profile the night before to shoot them a quick message. My mom may have cut off texting, but she seemed to forget I had a computer for homework. Not that I’d bring it up to her anytime soon. My boys had spent a good fifteen minutes telling me silly jokes and random facts to cheer me up before getting called away for dinner, leaving me alone again. Thankfully, the lack of communication gave me a chance to knock out all my homework and get ahead in some of the readings that were slotted for later this week.
“Yoohoo!” Lyla sing-songed, her freckled face hovering in front of me.
“Big summer blow out,” I replied out of habit, the movie quote falling from my lips easily and making both of us giggle.
“That was good, I’ll give you that, but you had started to zone out even when I was talking,” she explained. “Still working through what happened on Monday?”
“Eh”—I shrugged a shoulder before letting it drop dejectedly—“with that in particular, not really, since it’s done and over with. The next trial is definitely worrisome, but Reid was still suspended today and, mixed with the grounding my mom dished out, I’m just feeling kind of… I don’t know… disjointed? Lonely? I’m not sure how to describe it. The change in routine is just a rough adjustment is all.”
“He’s coming back tomorrow, right?”
“Yes, ma’am,” a familiar effervescent voice stated. My gaze darted behind Lyla to see my cute clown standing at the register. In our fit of giggles and talking, we apparently hadn’t heard the bell ring when he entered. That or we had learned to tune it out after today’s craziness.
“Hey, babe,” I greeted, my cheeks aching with how wide my smile was. It