Broken Trust(Devastation Duet #2) - Winter Paige
Stumbling, I grip my bathroom vanity, scoffing at the sight of its shining surface. Why even bother cleaning it every other day? Not like I am getting it dirty using any of my products. When I finally look at my reflection, I gasp at the pale girl staring back at me. She’s at least 10 pounds lighter, has dark bags under her eyes and a ghostly sick complexion. She looks nothing like the beautiful woman I was growing into with Joshua… before.
I throw both hands over my mouth to muffle the wail clawing at my chest at the thought of my Charming. I can still feel him in my arms, his blood seeping through my fingers as I begged him not to leave me. Why couldn’t I just go with him? I don’t want to be here anymore. He was the only one who really loved me, and now he’s gone. You. Promised. Me. Charming. Why? The pain is unbearable, and even though I’m aware my body isn’t quite strong enough to make a run for it yet, I don’t have a choice. The pain is shredding me from the inside out; if I don’t run, I’ll die in here. I am trapped in this prison, faking a drug-induced fog and sneaking in daily walks around my room. No one other than Rachel really comes in here anyways, they won’t even miss me. I’ve been forgotten while they continue their parties as if I’m not lying up here in ruins. They have destroyed me; shattered every piece of my soul. None of them ever really cared at all. I’m nothing more than a game… their pawn. The guys have no idea I have been listening in this whole time. Bargaining and betting. Sling and trade. I am nothing but a possession to any of them. Then, they sneak in here, one at a time, every few days, to cry over their guilt. Boohoo. You’re sorry? No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I ever trusted any of them.
My head is spinning, so I chug another glass of water. It’s the only way to flush the remainder of the drugs from my system before I head out. I nearly topple over when I hear the door to my room open, so I throw my hand out, flipping off the light. I sigh in relief when Rachel’s singing drifts into the room, knowing that I stand a chance against her small build. Standing just inside my darkened bathroom door, I watch as she moves to my bed and bends to lean over it, looking for me.
“You fucking cunt!” I lunge forward, tackling her, sending both of us to the ground. I straddle her and push my knife to her throat, blinking rapidly to clear my vision.
“It’s about fucking time, Lili.” She chuckles.
“You fucking drugged me. It’s been two months Rachel, and the whole time you have been feeding me pills to keep me fucking quiet!” I seethe.
“I did, but seriously, Lili, do you really think I had a choice? Now, let me the fuck up so we can talk. How long has it been? I mean, I thought you were pulling out of this at least four weeks ago when I was accidently late on your dose, but I could be wrong.” Rachel raises a brow.
“If you try anything, I’ll fucking cut you. I swear it. Don’t fucking push me, Rachel.” I rock back on my heels, swaying on my feet. Once she stands, I gesture to the bathroom. “Dump them.”
She walks over, opening the bottles and pouring the contents into the toilet and then flushing.
“What about Andr-“
“Fuck him! Do I look like I give a shit about any of that? After everything that happened, you all betrayed me. Every one of you left. I lost him and-” Her gaze softens as she reaches for me, and the dam breaks. “I can still hear him, Rachel. I can feel him. It hurts too much.”
“I know. I know, but you are so strong. You can-“
“No, don’t do that. It’s not about being fucking strong, and you know it. I am completely alone; I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
A door slams downstairs, and she holds a finger to her lips, motioning to my bedroom door. Carefully, we make our way over and open it just enough for their voices to drift up to us.
“It’s time, Jaxx. I am going to have Rachel start easing her off the meds. You need to get