Bourbon Nights - Shari J. Ryan Page 0,1

felt, but I did what I could to ignore them, hoping to spare Melody the embarrassment. I figured when or if she was ready to talk again, she would.

The timing for us was everything, and the minutes were running out.

I was moving along through my senior year of high school. Everyone was discussing college and plans. I endured daily conversations about what school I would head to in the fall. I always had to change the subject and find reasons to walk away.

My classmates assumed I was smart because I paid attention in class, handed in all the homework on time, and prepared for tests, but my grades were terrible. I was lucky to pass my classes, and my SAT scores were so bad they weren’t worth submitting to any college or university. I knew I wouldn’t be accepted anywhere other than a community college, and that was if I was lucky. I was more deflated than I had ever felt in my life, especially after enduring the daily breaking news reports about the acceptance packages my friends were receiving.

The thought of my future was grim. My parents felt terrible, knowing how hard I had worked. They told me I could retake the SAT’s and keep trying, even if it took an extra year. Their words did not motivate me. Instead, I gave up, even though I wasn’t sure at the time what that meant, but it was the only way to describe my feelings.

Somehow, the universe must have received my internal memo because, after a week of coming to terms with my status of going nowhere in life, the Marine Corps held a recruitment day in the cafeteria during lunch.

I had nothing to lose, and maybe everything to gain.

I was athletic, one of the best at any sports I took part in, and I assumed the Marines didn’t require certain scores from the SATs. My conversation with the recruiter was a hypnotizing discussion full of promises, hope, and plans for an attainable future. They sold me on the idea before I could mention a word about the military to my parents. I was already eighteen and had been for an entire month at that point and it was therefore my decision if I wanted to sign my life away to the U.S. government.

I informed my parents after the paperwork was signed.

I wouldn’t say it was the best conversation I had with them, but they appeared understanding.

The days following my decision were full of fear, and a sense of regret. Was it a rash decision? Was the military meant to be my future? Would I go to war? I didn’t know why those thoughts hadn’t entered my mind before making a life-changing decision, but there was nothing I could change.

I pushed the thoughts away, counting the months down until I would leave for boot camp, reassuring myself I made the right decision. It took me time to adjust, but I was moving past my uncertainty.

Then, everything in my life came to a screeching halt.

Melody approached me during the last bourbon party I would attend before leaving for boot camp.

The timing was not only bad; it was unquestionably wrong.

I should have seen what was to come the night I overheard Journey trying to convince Melody to taste a little bourbon. She wasn’t the underage drinking type, and I didn’t want to watch Journey persuade her to go against her morals, so I headed for the backroom to find some air and quiet. I had a few minutes to scroll through the emails on my phone, seeing nothing but spam as usual.

The feeling of shock was overwhelming when Melody flew through the back door as if pushed by someone. I’m not sure if she was looking for me, or just needed some air too, but there we were … face-to-face like we hadn’t been in years.

“Hi,” she uttered. It was the first word she had spoken to me in what felt like forever. I couldn’t remember what we had said to each other last. I just knew how much I needed to hear that word form on her lips.

“It’s so stuffy out in the shop. There are so many people tonight, and I needed some fresh air,” I said, trying to keep the conversation casual, scared to chase Melody off ... again.

She gazed at me as if she wanted me to say more, but it also seemed like she didn’t know where to start. “Yeah,” she replied.

I didn’t realize I had still