“In my day, when a girl was engaged to be married, she didn’t get dressed up to go out without her man.” My father complains.
I stiffen, and my perfunctory kiss glances the rise of his cheekbone before I straighten completely.
“This is not what was promised to me when you came home. We’re six months in and you’re dawdling.”
“We’re not dawdling.” I say as obligingly as I can.
His eyes dart to my mouth and I realize I’m biting my lip.
I stop.
It’s a new and very irritating habit of mine - when I’m nervous - my lips start to tingle. Since Duke pulled the rug out from underneath me and proposed three months ahead of schedule, the sense of control I had over this situation is starting to slip and jittery nerves are my constant companion.
“Duke came to see me. He’s ready to move forward and set a date.”
I struggle to keep my expression neutral. My ears are ringing. We were supposed to discuss this before he went to my father. I’m so sick of these men who think they’re gods. And as much as I want to put it off, the sooner I walk down the aisle, the sooner I’ll be free of them.
“I see, well then that should get things moving,” I smile with all the excitement I don’t feel.
Suspicion and warning narrow his eyes and he leans back in his chair, his elegant hands resting on the worn leather arms of his vintage Herman Miller chair.
I know that my heart’s accelerated beat is muscle memory. But under the weight of his wordless, inscrutable gaze, I have to remind myself that I’m not afraid.
“I’m leaving for our long tour of our global offices right after your little party next week. We’ll be back in time for the annual shareholder’s gala.”
“Won’t you be here for James’ one year anniversary?”
“Anniversary?” He chuckles, but his eyes are mirthless. “You make it sound like a happy occasion. Do you think a stupid service will make me feel better? Nothing will make up for the loss your recklessness brought about.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. But I don’t say another word. When he’s in this mood, anything I say will bring up back how James is dead because of me.
“Don’t interrupt me, again.” He doesn’t raise his voice, but he doesn’t need to.
“It’s where I’ll officially announce my candidacy and Wolfe’s succession plan. Duke, of course, will be standing next to me when I tell everyone that he will be my successor. ”
“How nice. You must be glad to have that settled. ” My smile is all compliance and deference. My heart though, is raging and rebelling. That a man like Duke will be the one to step into James’ shoes is a bitter, jagged pill to swallow.
“We’ll also announce the wedding date that evening. It will give the shareholders the reassurance they need.”
I’m shocked out of my self-preservationist neutrality by those words.
“But, that’s in two months. It’s so soon.”
The panic in my voice sends his eyebrows shooting up and draws his attention away from whatever he’s reading.
His winter blue eyes pierce me with that intensity that he’s famous for.
“You do like the way things are now, don’t you?”
There’s no mistaking the threat in his voice.
It’s the first time he’s even mentioned my confinement. I have let myself believe that it wasn’t a possibility I needed to worry about.
He couldn’t send me back to my grandmother’s now without causing a public relations nightmare. And that is the last thing he wants right now. But, I can see right now, that I was wrong.
If he decided to send me back right now, no one could stop him.
But, I don’t need his threats to incentivize my behavior.
I glance to where Fiona’s sitting in a rocking chair she had built near the little bay window. My baby sister Cameron, is asleep in her arms. She was born a few days after I got home and she’s the reason living in this house is bearable. She’s my reason for everything. I’ll swallow a hundred jagged pills if it means she’ll have the choices and support I didn’t.
“Can I hold her?” I ask Fiona, knowing already what she’s going to say. She’s very protective of Cam. And holds her almost constantly. She doesn’t have a nanny. And she only lets me take care of her when she and my father have to go out.
“It took me so long to get her to sleep, ” she says with