Beautiful Pain - J.M. Walker Page 0,2

God. What was I getting myself into?

“Holy shit, Mae.” Nika pushed me, placing his coffee on the tray. “Go to him.”

“And what the hell am I supposed to do, Nika? Fall at his feet and beg him to have his way with me? You can give him his coffee,” I muttered. Ignoring everyone, I quickly made my way to the staff bathroom. I didn’t need this. These thoughts. A man. I was fine by myself. I was. I had to be. It was the only way I could remain safe. It was the only way I wouldn’t get hurt again. And the only way I could stay alive.

Matteo

I had been listening to people’s problems for over ten years. But lately it felt like a lifetime. As each day passed, the more meetings I had, the problems became harder to deal with. It usually stemmed from some form of childhood abuse. Their parents didn’t love them. Didn’t want any kids and whoops, accidents happened. Or so they said. How anyone could have a kid by accident was beyond me.

As I sat there, listening to the sobbing mess in front of me, all I could think about was sex. And her. Mae. The woman from the diner the night before. My blood stirred, flowing through my body like molten lava. I would see her again. And this time, I would get her to approach me.

The patient’s soft cries reminded me of the female I had been with only a week before. Crying. Begging. Pleading for me to stop when only it made me fuck her harder. I was pleased when the young thing never used her safeword we had set up beforehand.

“Dr. Santos, my husband hates me. My children hate me. How can I go on?” The patient sitting across from me cried, her pleas pulling me from my inappropriate thoughts.

Well you shouldn’t have cheated, for one. “They don’t hate you.” Although they should. I was a sadistic bastard and got off on inflicting pain but when it came to cheating, I was against it. Straight up.

“Yes, they do,” she sniffed, blowing her nose.

“Maria, I will tell you that they need time. That’s all. There’s no medical diagnosis I can provide. No meds to prescribe that will make this easier. Time is the only remedy for this situation.” God, I loved my job. It allowed me to voice my opinion and honesty without getting in trouble. Much. Some people apparently didn’t like being told they were a hypochondriac. Who knew?

“But I’ve given them time,” Maria whined, batting at her eyes.

Her words sounded through me, annoying the ever living shit out of me like nails on a chalkboard. “You told your husband a week ago that you cheated on him. You can’t expect him to forgive you and for everything to go back to the way they were this fast.” I didn’t have to be a doctor to tell her that.

“But…but…” Her bottom lip quivered.

Oh dear God, woman. I took a breath and mentally counted to ten. “Maria, I’m going to tell you this once.” I lowered my voice, speaking in the firm tone that had got me whatever I wanted over the years.

Her full lips parted.

I had her right where I wanted but unfortunately for her, she didn’t do it for me. And she was married. But she did have a pretty mouth. My dick jumped in my pants. Shit. Focus, Matteo.

“You are not going to get the meds you came here for.” I raised my hand, cutting her off when she opened her mouth to speak. “I’m not going to coddle you and tell you everything will be okay. Because how the hell am I supposed to know that?”

“You’re a doctor,” she pointed out.

“I’m not God. Only he knows how this will all play out. Only he knows if your husband will be there when you get home.”

She let out a heavy sigh, her shoulders slumping. “I’m going to hell.”

I bit back a huff and another eye roll. I rose to my feet, heading to my desk and pulled my prescription pad out of the drawer. “Here.” I jotted down some steps for the wonderful Maria to follow. And I used that term loosely. For someone to cry to make me feel sorry for them and give them pills clearly didn’t know me well. Pills didn’t solve everything. If they did, my world would be a much brighter and shinier place.

“I thought you weren’t prescribing me pills.” Maria took the paper