Until Alex - J. Nathan Page 0,1

as glass from the mirror shattered over her.

My eyes shot to the monster.

His big hands were braced on his knees, his breaths deep like he’d run a marathon. He watched through beady eyes as my mother steadied herself to her feet.

I wanted to hit him. To knock him back. To kill him.

I jumped down from the bed and lunged at him. A vicious backhand to the face propelled me onto the floor. Black spots clouded my vision. My head spun. My nose was surely broken, but none of that mattered. I needed to get to the phone on the nightstand. If I could just call—

Click.

My head whipped around.

He held something black in his right hand. He lifted it, extending it out in front of him.

Shock seized every part of me. It couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be happening like this.

“Please,” my mother begged as he aimed the barrel of his weapon at her. She edged as far away from me as possible. She always kept his attention off of me. Always protected me. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

A calculated laugh escaped his lips. “Now, you’ll do whatever I want? Weren’t those the vows you promised me ten years ago?”

She didn’t dare answer. She just took another step toward the bedroom door, stretching the distance between us.

“Then he came into the picture.” He spun around with his gun aimed at me. “He ruined everything. He took you away from me.”

I cowered to the carpet, preparing for the pain. For the nothingness. “Mom, run.”

“Noooo!” she screamed, racing across the room and throwing her body over mine.

“He got your time. Your affection. Your love. It was all supposed to be mine!”

Three shots crackled through the air.

Three times my body jolted. I opened my mouth to scream, but the sound got cut off by the sight of blood spreading like a rush of ink through my mom’s shirt. Within seconds, her grip loosened and her body peeled away from me, sinking to the floor.

Sobs ripped through me as I scrambled to my knees, slipping on the pool of blood surrounding her lifeless body. “Mom, wake up.” I draped myself over her stomach, unable to look at her head where one of the bullets hit. “I’m here. I’m right here.” With trembling arms, I tightened my grip, burying my face in her blood-soaked shirt. A putrid metallic smell replaced her floral scent.

God, please help her. Please.

“You’re gonna be alright, Mom. Just stay with me.” I couldn’t hold her tight enough to stop her from hurting. To stop her from slipping away. To stop her from leaving me all alone. “I love you so much.”

Guttural, unable-to-catch-my-breath, sobs poured out of me. And still, as my world crumbled around me and pain overwhelmed my being, I needed to get to a phone.

Click.

A quiver rocked through me.

I closed my eyes with my arms still wrapped around my mom, the woman I loved more than anything in the world. The woman who’d carry me over to the other side. To the light.

I braced myself for the impact of the bullet, praying for a quick death. Praying to be far away from him and the nightmare we’d been living.

But the impact didn’t come.

I cracked one eye.

The monster stood over us with his gun to his temple and his eyes locked on mine. “This is all your fault.”

When he was certain I heard him, he fired once.

CHAPTER ONE

ELEVEN YEARS LATER

HAYDEN

My eyes snapped open. I wished I could blame the mid-afternoon sunlight seeping into my living room for the sweat dripping down my face and my heaving chest. But I couldn’t.

Most people endured a rare nightmare. One that rocked them to the core. But not me. The same two plagued every one of my dreams. Unfortunately, they weren’t strange figments of my imagination. Explorations into the deep recesses of my psyche. They were real memories. The worst I possessed.

I would’ve given anything to erase the horrid images from my mind, but they were my penance. My cross to bear.

I sat up from my black leather sectional, the focal point of my living room. It’s the one place I normally fell asleep, if I fell asleep. Running my hands through my unruly hair, I scanned my apartment. For a guy, I kept it pretty clean. Of course I only cared about my flat screen. Without the white noise it provided, my bare walls closed in on me.

I stood up, working the kinks out of my neck. I should’ve grabbed my bag and headed