Satan Burger - By Mellick Carlton Page 0,1

his personal collection, and he’s been doing it all decade.

So God is keeping Child Earth clear from boredom. But as children always are, boredom only stays away for a little piece of a while.

The walm is located in Rippington, which is now the most populated city in the world. About five years ago, it wasn’t that large at all and was being recognized only as the capital of New Canada. The walm changed all that.

A young man named Leaf was born in this town, before the walm was born. He came into place the same year they re-elected Pat Paulsen for his second term as president of the United States of America, in 1976.

Over-populating Rippington created a difficult lifestyle for the Rippingtonians. A sick-hard struggle. It also made life a jumble-confusing subsistence, with the majority of the population consisting of foreign action figures, who rarely learn to speak the native language, Canadian.

Once the rest of the citizens of the world found out about the walm causing an overpopulation problem, they just stared at their walls and shrugged.

Nobody cared then, nobody cares now, not even the New Canadians care and they are the victims of this situation.

Nobody cares in the least bit about anything anymore. It’s like there is a drug in the air that makes everything seem unimportant, no matter how important anything is. A mother will witness her own child convulse and die, right in her chubby lap, and all she will do is stare at her wall and shrug.

Then she’ll say, "Guess I’ll have to make another one."

Actually, I am exaggerating. Some people still care, especially the younger people. But most of the population is lame/untrue to their human emotions and nobody has found out exactly why.

I can only think of one man who even tried to uncover this problem’s cause. It was an Alaskan psychologist who called it a disease, but he could not figure out why so many were so numb in the spirit. Even after several years of research, the only thing he came up with was that the world and its population had come into a plain state of endless boredom.

After the fourth year, he put his notes and books down.

And said, "oh well."

Staring at his wall, shrugging.

The people of Rippington are not quite as bored as the rest of the world for one reason or another. I suspect it’s because of the walm, but I’m not sure. Nor do I care.

Leaf is on the border between emotionful and emotionless. He cares a lot about some things and a little about others. Maybe it’s because some things are boring and some things haven’t bored him yet.

Let me correct myself:

I am Leaf.

I apologize for speaking in the third person when explaining myself, but that’s just how I seem to be. I catch myself doing this quite often. It’s because I can see in the third person. Anywhere in the world I want to go, my eyes will go. They will pop out of their sockets and wander the countryside. Just as a god or a movie camera would go. Even myself is just another character to me, hovering over my body from God’s Eyes, watching someone else moving and talking to my commands, my own living corpse.

I call my body a corpse sometimes. It is because I don’t like it at all. It bores me. I’d much rather live inside a strong man’s body. Then maybe I’d have more self-esteem and I wouldn’t need to look at myself in the third person. My body is all dangle-lanky and weak. It whines when I ask it to move, and the bones creak and complain as they labor.

My last name is no longer in use. I am just plain Leaf. It was Cable in the beginning, if I remember correctly, but Cable is retired now. I am just a Leaf. And I don’t feel that I need to have a last name.

I feel pathetic sometimes, and I think that it is funny.

My parents were Mr. and Mrs. Cable. I don’t care to remember their first names. I’m sure they don’t care to remember mine either. Actually, they better remember my name. They gave this weak-wretched title to me.

They said to me, "Leaf is also a name for a person and not just the vegetation that grows on trees and plants."

However, they meant Leif. Leif is the person and Leaf is just a leaf.

Great, eh? I’m a leaf, not a human being like my parents once told me.

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