Reasons I Fell for the Funny Fat Friend - By Becca Ann Page 0,1
but not the moo-ing? Yeah, I don’t get girls at all.
Sorry, did I butt in?
She flushes deeper. Dude, what’s wrong with her? Movies I guess are out. She looks around and waves me in closer, so her signs can only be seen under our desks.
It’s no big deal or anything, but… more gibberish.
I grunt and stop her hands with mine. They feel kinda warm and she jerks away, going so red I don’t think there’s any blood in any part of her body but her face right now.
Slow, please. Maybe adding the magic word will stop her from acting so weird.
Sorry. I was saying, I don’t see a lot of movies ‘cause I don’t go out much.
Why is that such a big deal? I wait for her to go on, but she sits straight up and starts signing so fast I’m pretty sure she’s not saying anything at all.
I start for her hands again, then I get it. Ms. Stevens has a very distinct smell. I’m almost chokin’ on the flowers wrapped in bacon stench coming from behind me. I glance at our teacher whose lips are pursed as she signs, Are you going to answer her, Brody?
Whoops. Hayley was way too fast for me to keep up. I lock gazes with my signing partner, and she re-signs the question.
So, who would it be? Jessica Alba or Scarlett Johansson?
Okay, if she’s asking about Invisible Woman vs. Black Widow, then I know the answer, but if she’s asking who’s hotter, how am I supposed to answer that with Quynn lookin’ at me from across the room?
Scarlett, I guess. My hands won’t stop shaking, so that’s all I say. Ms. Stevens waves in front of my face.
Work on your ‘S’s. She leaves, but not without me goin’ as red as Hayley was just a few seconds ago.
Hayley clears her throat. Oh right. We were in the middle of something.
Sorry. We were talking about not going to movies. Then you pull two actresses out of your butt.
We both stifle our laughter. I sorta like it when girls think I’m funny. Does weird things to my stomach, but in a good way.
So like I was saying, I don’t get to go out much. You know, because I’m just not one of those girls.
No, I don’t know. I don’t have the secret handbook that lets me know everything. Girls that like to see movies? I chuckle and she chuckles.
No. Like I’m not… She stops and does a mock thinking face. It’s kinda cute. I don’t get asked out a lot. She signs it fast, but I catch it.
How do I respond to that? It’s not like we’re best buds, and that’s a pretty big thing to admit for a girl. Man, even for a guy, it’s hard to admit. Why is she telling me?
You have friends though, right? I attempt a smile.
She nods. They’ve all got boyfriends. Sitting in a theater with a bunch of people making out around me? No thanks.
She attempts a smile. I wonder if I look as half-hearted as she does.
Yeah. I get that. Boy do I get that. I was Mr. Third Wheel around my brother.
It slaps balls.
I bark out laughing. Did she really sign that, or did I interpret it wrong? But she’s laughin’ too, and everyone’s looking at us.
“Do I need to separate you two?” Ms. Stevens asks, lips in such a tight line I wonder if it actually came from her mouth.
“Sorry. I’ll try not to tell jokes anymore since Brody can’t find a volume control on his laugh.”
I laugh again, proving her point, but not much I can do about it since it’s already out there. Quynn giggles across the room, and even though I’m gettin’ a big fat ‘see me after class’ look from the teacher, it was worth it.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Hayley says after the bell rings. She scoops up her book and throws her bag over her shoulder, smacking me in the face.
“Whoops! Sorry.”
I shove her bag out of my way and give her the not-so-serious-mad look. She laughs and waves, knocking other people over as she makes her way to the door with her over-crowded backpack.
Maybe she doesn’t live under a rock, but a pile of homework.
“Brody?”
I force myself to look at Quynn slowly. If I whip around too fast, I’ll look like I’ve been waiting for her to say my name like that. Which I have, but still. Be cool.