Open and Shut - By David Rosenfelt Page 0,3

of talking these past few days, and I'm smart enough to know not to chew your ears off much longer.”

Two of the jurors smile, which shows how little humor they've been exposed to lately. The other ten think I'm bullshitting them.

“There are only two things for me to talk about, and then I'll shut up. The first is circumstantial evidence. Carmen Herndez stands accused on this kind of evidence. No one saw him break into that store. No one saw him take any jewels. No one saw him leave the store. Instead we have guesswork, and seem-to-be's, and probably's. The prosecutor, Mr. Trell, says, ‘Gee, with these circumstances, it sure seems to me that Mr. Herndez did it.’ ”

I look over at Trell, but he does not return the stare. He neither likes nor trusts defense lawyers, and as far as he's concerned, I'm the worst of the lot. I extend the stare, mainly because it will be fifteen seconds until the door opens.

“Well, ladies and gentlemen, that's not good enough.” Another pause for dramatic effect, as I wait impatiently. Open, door.

And open it does. Laurie Collins enters from the back. I turn, but then again so does everyone else. When Laurie Collins enters a room, you turn to see her. It's as simple as that. She is a beautiful, sexy woman, and I would say this even if I weren't sleeping with her. I would say it even if she weren't able to kick the shit out of me.

Laurie, as instructed, is dressed in a conservative pants suit. She is five foot ten, with blond hair and a perfectly proportioned body. That figure comes across despite the otherwise nonrevealing attire, but then again Laurie's body would look great if she were wearing a Winnebago.

Laurie seems excited about something, and she makes a motion to get my attention, a singularly unnecessary act. I nod and turn to Judge Kasten.

“Your Honor, if I could have a moment.”

Moments aren't something Judge Kasten is inclined to dispense, and he stares at me with an intensity designed to make me withdraw the request. When I don't do so, he finally says, “What is the problem, Mr. Carpenter?”

“I'm not really sure, Your Honor, but Ms. Collins certainly would not be interrupting were this not important.”

If there is such a thing as a stern sigh, Kasten pulls it off. “Make it brief.”

I walk over to Laurie, whose facial expression still shows excitement. Her words do not, though she speaks softly enough that I'm the only one able to hear them.

“Hi, Andy,” she says. “What's new in the legal world?”

Now, you may not think this is big news, but I look stunned, as if she had dropped a bombshell.

“Not a hell of a lot,” I say. “Still hot out there?”

She nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, close to eighty, although they're predicting a thunderstorm. By the way, you do realize your father is going to be upset by this, don't you?”

My father is not only the retired State District Attorney, he is also a legend in the legal profession. As the next few minutes are about to demonstrate, the legend gene obviously skipped a generation.

“You think I'm afraid of my father?” I ask her, incredulous at the possibility.

“Petrified,” she says.

“Then I'll tell him this was your idea.”

I make a triumphant fist and look skyward, as if thanking God for this good fortune. I may be laying it on a little thick, but these aren't the brightest jurors in the world.

Barely able to contain my excitement, I turn and walk to Carmen at the defense table. Since he can only speak about four words of English, I don't bother making sense when I whisper in his ear.

“All the while I'd be thinkin', I could be another Lincoln, if I only had a brain.”

I break out in a big grin and hug him. He figures something good must have happened, so he breaks out in just as big a grin and hugs me back. We are one happy lawyer-client team. Among the people who aren't quite as happy is Judge Kasten.

“Perhaps you would like to enlighten us as to what is going on, Mr. Carpenter?”

Smile painted on my face, I turn and walk toward the bench. “Sorry, Your Honor, but I thought my client should be the first to hear the good news.”

“And just what good news is that?” he asks.

“Well, I'm not sure why we had to learn about it this way …” I take the smile off long enough to